𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 || baxter radic

9.

My face must drop, shift, sink, because Bax's touch gets more intense. I hear him speaking but the buzzing in my ears is louder. My eyes are void, my mind numb. But then everything shifts into focus when his lips collide with mine. The fuzziness vanishes in a flash.

His forehead rests against mine as his lips depart. My chest rises and falls heavily, like someone's sat upon it making it harder to breathe. He must notice because his thumb runs gently across my cheeks. The darkness in his eyes has vanishes and the bright blue that normally exists is there, inviting me in to stay.

I nuzzle my head into his hand. His touch invading my mind ripping out the past memories from their graves. It's almost as if the touch is convincing enough to move forward—to forget Summer and Baxter were ever... Summer and Baxter.

"That person might be a little less of a pain in the ass now." Bax's signature smug smile lights up his face as he pulls back to watch the way I react to his words. I can tell you they've set butterflies flying in my stomach, looking for an escape.

"They might slip back for just a second. Don't hate them, they have one final question. Then they'll never bring it up again." I look down at the ground between us, as Bax's fingertips dance around mine. 

"Oh they'll definitely bring it up again. But I'll deal." He waits for me to talk. It takes me a few minutes to really decided if I want to say what's whirling around in my head. Is it worth it? After everything that's just happened. Is it really worth it?

It is.

"If Summer never got with Ari, would you have continued to try for something with her?" I slowly look up as my question comes to an end. 

His eyes don't shift dark. His expression doesn't change like I half expect it to. He doesn't even ponder or take a second to think. He spews his answer so quickly it catches me of guard. "Yes."

I nod my head before dropping it back down, lacing my fingers between his to stop their dancing act. I don't want playful in this moment. I want concrete. I want set in stone. "Even though you knew I went to that beach every day for you."

"You admit it." His tone raises a bit, his mind mentally doing a double take. I couldn't admit it before this moment. Before I truly knew that he felt something. Sure, a simple kiss didn't exactly mean he felt something. It could be all some sick game he's playing. But I had a gut feeling—one buried deep down inside me—that he wished he'd have known all along, that I was an option too.

I give a simple nod again to not interrupt. I can sense he's got more to say, so I give him the space to do so. 

"I caught you after things had started. I had to see it to the end, didn't I? Once things get uncomfortable or hard, I stop putting my all in. For once I wanted to not do that." Hearing Bax tear into who he is as a person hurts. Summer told me he did that at Nationals when he found out about his sisters. It hurt then, but hearing it for myself, it hurts even worse. 

"Can I admit that it would have sucked watching it happen?" I run my thumb along his skin as I confess thoughts that have kept me up at night. "I would have been happy for you, for her. But it would have hurt... a lot."

"I can imagine." The scuffing of our feet against the gravel surface below us calms my soul. Admitting things I've kept in for so long has sent it spiraling down a slope, picking up speed the longer the moment lasts. But the further we walk, the more the sound invade my head, the more my heart rate drops back down to normal.

"She's lucky to have you, you know?" Bax jabs our arms into my side. The cute gesture makes me giggle to myself. His comment though, that's what gets me. He sees a light in me that I don't even see in myself. 

"Why?" I ask genuinely. I don't want to know to boost my ego. Or to manipulate any conversation. I just truly want to know why Baxter Radic, resident bad boy, thinks I'm so special. Okay, maybe I want to hear him boosting my ego... just a little. 

"I don't know many people who would willingly let their best friend go after the guy they like." 

"I normally never having a fighting shot when she's in the picture. The token shy girl always gets thrown to the side. I honestly don't mind. I don't like attention. I've never craved being in a relationship. Well..." I trail off, letting my words settle in my mind before I continue, "until I heard the way Ari made her feel. Then I wanted to feel what she felt." A light sigh slips past my lips. 

"Rather make sure others are happy, sounds like someone else I know." He boasts. 

"Who? You?" I turn toward him, walking backward to catch his reaction. He smiles proudly. Of course it's him. 

I don't know where we walk to, how long we've been walking, or if there's even an end to this walk, but Bax's phone blaring in pocket pulls our attention. He tries to ignore it, only for it to ring again... and again. He gives in, answering the call and walking away leaving me in the darkness alone.

I wrap my arms to my chest, crossing my legs as I wait for him to return. I watch him intently. Focusing on his mouth as he speaks. I realize quite quickly that he's too far away to be able to read his lips. So instead I focus on other parts of him. The way he paces, kicking at things on the ground to pass the time. The way his brow furrows when whoever is on the call annoys him. The way his arm flexes when he talks exaggerated with his hands. There's something so mesmerizing about watching him just exist. I might be getting a bit lost in the moment. But I feel like I deserve it. 

When he returns he wraps his arms around my shoulders. Trapping my arms to my chest. He's hugging me, not to get comfort for himself, but to squeeze out whatever emotions he's got flowing through him. He wants to release it all, leave me unburdened by his problems. 

"Spill." I demand, muffled against his chest.

"Never."