𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 || baxter radic

37.

◈ 𝒃𝒂𝒙'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗 ◈

I didn't know about how bad May's dark side was until I heard the first phone call with her mother. She had created a mask for herself. A mask she wore very well. She painted her face with fake smiles and admiration. I'd catch her slip, but I thought it was out of jealousy. It was just who she was, a dark ember burning deep inside her.

She didn't scare me though. She looked at me differently. She peeled back my layers and noticed that a good rested beyond my darkened outer shell. That's how we were different. My bad wore on the outside, hers trapped on the inside. Together we completed both parts of the whole. We were both completely good, but also completely evil.

Inherently, we were mostly good. Too involved with whatever we felt for each other to get lost on the dark side. But times like today happen; where the fake cover May wears slips. The anxiety, the pressure, the past all tangled up into a fucking mess inside her head. She loses control.

I had to reign her in—fill her with all the good I possibly could. I had to patiently untangle every single tied knot in her mind. Each string being rolled up into a small ball of yarn to be tucked in a neat basket when I was complete.

I did that by the power of distraction. I fucked her so I could unravel her. She fucked me to sort it all away in her own way. And then Summer wanted to create another mess. All the hard work we had put in undone in a matter of half of a second. All it took was one glance of fierce eyes and I could feel the rage building inside May.

May loved Summer, in her own way. But she would let Summer suffer and crumble if it meant saving herself. May proved that the day of the accident with her brother. She could have saved him. I hear in the screams of her nightmares. But she didn't so she could save herself. May's priority is herself, and herself alone. Or it was... until me.

The only qualm that has ever surfaced is the one May has toward Summer and I. Otherwise, May is good at hiding the rest of her issues. She's learned to cope with taps... and me. She's mastered diverting her thoughts down different pathways.

"You need to keep your cool around Summer." I command the room, making it known that the evil will appear if she doesn't follow my orders. I can ruin just as quickly as she can. She won't go against me.

"Tell her to wipe that smug expression off her face like she's won some medal because she kissed you once." She rolls her eyes, flipping her hair off her shoulder as walks away from me.

My fingers dig into her skin, it's hard enough to leave bruises—I know it won't. I tug her toward me, her body colliding against my chest. Her eyes warn of rage. There's a snarl fighting its way to her lips. She thinks she can scare me, but she never will. I'll feed off it instead.

"Why do you care what we did? You won." My voice is low.

"Because she'll dangle it forever. She's setting a baited trap knowing I'll lose my cool at some point. She thinks it will make you see the light. Find out that I'm just like my mother." Anger fills her tone as the last sentence passes by her lips.

I drag my thumb across her bottom lip before I respond. "You'd never hurt me." I growl, the anger starting to fill me to. The gasoline was being poured onto the already raging fire in us.

"She can't seem to accept that. Or maybe she thinks you'll come running back when her relationship inevitably crumbles because she can't hold onto things for long. She has to make constant comments that you wanted her so you don't forget that at one point you wanted her too." She shakes her head, my fingers pulling from her skin.

Lapse in judgement. A few moments of that. The good side creeping a little too long, wanting to save a hurting soul. Standing here with May was where this all was going to end up. I should have seen it coming from a mile away. I should have let it run me over. All of this would have been a lot less messy.

Good guy Bax just had to have a little cake. I've never been the best at hanging around and waiting for things to fall into place. There are too many people and too many missed opportunities by waiting. A guy has needs that a hand just can't meet sometimes.

"Well it all needs to stop." I clench my jaw.

"Ah yes Baxter," she throws her hands up in the air, "let me just shut off the crazy. You're right. My bad." Her tone has me wanting to do more naughty things to her but I hold back my urge. My dick will settle down eventually.

"Attitude Missy." I pull her body so it's flush against me. I don't care if she can feel the bulge against her. I didn't deserve the rage she had toward someone else.

"You know how hot I find it when you say that." Her eyes gloss back from rage. In one single blink it goes from being there, to being gone. Each time she slips into rage it's harder to pull her from it. I have to get creative. But every day that I spend with her, I learn more about what makes her tick. I know what will pull her good side forward.

I don't see another flash of rage all night. Not even when Summer pokes her head into the room to apologize. May forgives her, sending her off with an I love you—that she means. I can tell by the light glow in her features. It only shows when she truly, deeply, down to the core, feels what she says.

She tries for a round three, but I deny her—despite so desperately wanting her. Instead she turns soft, twirling strands of my hair in circles until she ends up braiding every single strand of hair on my head. It doesn't take her long, but it makes her giggle and laugh. It pushes the evil further down. Which we both need right about now.

Today was consuming. The good and evil at an all-out brawl. The angel and the devil fighting to become the winner. I so desperately wished that the evil didn't consume us. I wish that we could be all good. I wish that we had been granted the brightness. But we weren't. We would forever have a casted dark cloud following us around.

No matter how hard we tried, we would always be half evil, half good. We would have to fight the battle between the underworld and the world we are in now. There is no saving drown souls from oceans they couldn't swim in on their own. May and I were destined to slip under. No one fought for people like us. Not even ourselves.

There is only so many painted faces a person can take before they inherently surrender. We'd put up a good fight by each other's side. But it was written in our code, to go down together. With the good, the bad, and the ugly.