𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 || baxter radic

13.

◈ 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒆'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗 ◈

"I know you don't want to see me, or even talk to me but I was worried about you last night. Where did you go?" Summer stands at my doorway.

I haven't slept. Bax and I stayed up all night. We went to the beach—with his board in hand—and I watched him surf. I didn't hide in the shadows like I used to. Instead I stood at the water's edge with a smile painted across my face.

He tried to get me to join him, but I told him another time. He tried even using puppy dog eyes on me—and the cutest pout I think I've ever seen—but it didn't work. Almost though.

The walk back home doesn't fair easy. Bax has decided to use me as his own personal towel— bear hugging me until I can't breathe; shaking his hair at me like a wet dog. It has me running and screaming and laughing in pure bliss.

I'm changing out of my wet clothes when Summer steps in my room. She must have heard me come home. I mean, Bax wasn't being the quietest. He felt the need to announce to the sleeping town that, the wet dogs had arrived. But he's gone now, and I have to deal with the consequences of it all.

"Out." My response is cold.

"Listen, I'm sorry." Summer's voice sounds so foreign. Like I don't even know the person stood before me. The only person I had left—the one that cared—simply just gone.

"I could have had a great time here Summer. I could have felt what you felt with Ari. But you took that away from me. You stole the person I wanted." I run my hands through my hair but it gets caught—knotted from my adventure. It frustrates me even more, so I throw out an added huff to the conversation.

"I didn't steal anyone." Summer has sailed into defense mode. Because once again, Summer can do no wrong.

I scoff. "Right." I nod my head. My anger simmering like a boiling pot of water, ready to bubble over. No amount of deep breaths will stop the wrath that's about to come spewing.

"Summer, you told your friends I was taken so you could pick one for yourself. Tell me how that's fair?" My voice is raised. My mind is so enraged that I don't give her time to answer because I'm not done.

"I'm not stupid. I watched you use Bax. You knew that it would get under Wren's skin. You knew that it would cause tension between Ari and Wren. You knew exactly what you were doing. You used Bax as your pawn. All the while never taking even half of a second to realize you were actually hurting the one person who cared about you no matter what. If Bax noticed, you should have too." I shake my head.

"Belle I really had no idea you were interested in Bax. I swear." Summer holds her hands up in defense. But how could she miss it of all people. If Bax could see the way my eyes lit up with him around, how did she not see it? She was my best friend. The one that could always sense when something was going on with me. How had she failed me so miserably?

"You still haven't answered why you lied to them." Maybe she was just too preoccupied in the pain of seeing Ari with someone else. Maybe she wanted to be blinded by anything else. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt... but only if she answers this question.

"I didn't want you to get hurt like I did." Summer avoids looking at me when she responds. It's how I know she feels guilty.

"I have a right to make that choice myself. What you did wasn't fair to me." I drop onto my bed. "He wanted me and you took that option from him... selfishly."

"I didn't know!" Summer's guilt is taking over. She's angry at herself for not noticing everything like I did. Like Bax did.

"Okay." I say cool and calm. "I'd like to be alone now. I haven't slept and I think we've said all we need to." I place my hand on her shoulder.

"I am really sorry Belle." She turns away—going to exit my room—but I speak before she's fully gone.

"I forgive you. I know you'll learn from your mistake. I love you." She doesn't say anything back. Not even a mumbled 'I love you too.'

Pain can make you do stupid things. It can make you say things you don't mean. Do things you don't realize will hurt the people around you. Love does the same. It's completely nonsensical. You become half of a whole. But somehow you feel more whole. I guess we were all fighting to feel just a little more than ourselves.

I wasn't saying that I loved Bax. Or that Bax loved me. That word was strong, overused. But there was just something there, a spark we both couldn't resist—couldn't hold back from. We felt more than. There was something way past the surface of who we were that connected us. Like to points on the end of a line. We were always going to end up here. The two of us, falling for one another. It's just how our destiny was laid out.

I didn't care if it was forever or just a blip in time. We could grow together, or grow apart. We could use each other to learn, to become better people. Or we could crash and burn and take the world down with us. It didn't matter. As long as the time we did spend together was spent well. Memories made, smiles had. Arguments had, arguments settled. Mistakes made and patched over with bandaids, hoping that it did the job. That's all I wanted. An attempt at whatever the universe had in store for us.

The good.

The bad.

Even the ugly.