𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 || baxter radic

29.

◈ 𝒃𝒂𝒙'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗 ◈

"I think I'm in love." I look at her like she's a star in the sky—the only thing illuminating the night. She's the moon, the biggest and brightest of them all. Better yet she's the sun, illuminating the moon at night, and our world during the day.

Despite feeling like I might actually be falling in love with her, the words that fall sound otherwise. The fear of judgement weighing heavily on my heart. Not by my friends, their opinions didn't matter as much as hers. I didn't want to scare her away. Falling in love too fast can do that. Some people aren't ready for that deep of a commitment.

With everything that's gone on since she arrived here in Shorehaven, I'm not too sure if falling in love really was in any realm of possibility. It took weeks to earn her trust. Weeks to convince her that she is who I really want. Sometimes—even still—I see glimpses of those feelings resurfacing.

"I'm so sexy, I know." She looks at me, glowing like a firework illuminating in the night sky. She sparks a joy into every bone in my body, erasing years of feeling abandoned and abused.

"I'm going to hurl." Summer fake gags before breaking out into a laughter.

The way May copies her best friend's actions—hunching over in a fit of laughter herself—has me fighting off the urge to do the same. The two of them—on good terms—is a recipe for the best times you could ever have. They feed off of each other like they are two parts of one whole. There is a clear reason why I struggled between the two.

Sitting here now though—on my surfboard—watching the both of them in their truest form, the answer is so obvious. My eyes were drawn to May. It was like a magnet was embedded in her—and me—an uncontrollable force that pulled us together.

There was no second guessing my option. There were no feelings that settled in the pit of my stomach anymore. They didn't linger in the back of my mind. It was like the sucker punch to my head knocked those feelings away. Maybe this was all just a blessing in disguise. Maybe it was Max stepping in, saving his sister—saving us.

It was so clear that Summer was supposed to be Ari's. I think we all ignored the signs. The two of them, Wren and I. Our minds all clouded in pain, fear, and teenage hormones.

May though, she didn't ignore the signs. She saw them all along. Granted she knew intel that only half of the whole knew, but she still never faltered from what she saw to be true. My sister was a back stabber. Summer loved Ari. Ari loved Summer. She loved me and she sat patiently and waited for my vision to clear.

The patience she had was unmatched. Though she would clearly tell you differently. She spent years locked up with a family that didn't love. She spent years mourning her brother's death alone. She came to Shorehaven to escape it all, only to be thrown into the mix of it all again. Her best friend betraying her. The guy she wanted going after her best friend. But she still sat there, a smile painted on her face waiting for the world around her to settle.

I don't think any of us would have had the ability to do that. I would have run off to hook up with some random girl. Summer would have lost herself in surfing, hoping that the person she wanted to notice her would. Wren would have sabotaged whoever was in her way—or would have begged me to do it for her. Poppy would have flipped to a guy willing to give her attention, just enough to numb her mind for a while. Bodhi would have drowned herself with the weight of trying to change this industry on her own. Ari would take time, but he'd move on focused on himself and recovery. None of us would have persevered like May did.

"You're staring. What did I tell you about taking pictures?" May's voice vibrates in my ears. The sound traveling though me—so far through me that I feel it in my bones.

My quick wit has escaped me. I'm too lost in thought about how much I care about her—how much I love her. She is some kind of special. A special that radiates to everyone. One that makes everyone else that much better.

I fumble over my thoughts, staring blankly through her. She's there, I could reach out and touch her. But my mind has escaped to another land where the world is perfect. Where there is no fear that I could ever hurt her. Because inevitably I will. I always do. I hope that I don't, but cycles are meant to repeat themselves. I had spent too many years stuck in the same cycle. I hoped that my will power was strong enough to start a new one. I just really had no idea if it was.

I clear my throat. "What did I tell you?" I look at her and I swear I watch her flush a bright shade of red before me. Embarrassment flashing over her entire being. She hated letting others into intimate parts of us. I never understood why. Maybe it was fear of others stealing either of us away. Seems to be a running thing in this group.

"You know Baxter," Summer's voice invades the space I've made only for May, "You make Belle really happy, so thank you for that."

"Alright, enough being sentimental." May's voice breaks through, pushing Summer's away like it never invaded to begin with. "Everyone ready to get this thing started?" Her voice is so happy. It's like the past few days haven't existed. I see actual joy in her face. An emotion that's been lost in fear.

It's a unanimous decision. Everyone heads toward shore but Maybelle. Her back still faces her friends, her eyes drifting out to sea like she's watching something move through the water. But then her eyes jump me like the object just vanishes from thin air. A small smile is tugging at the corner of her lips. A warmth forming behind her eyes that's been missing. Like the vanishing object she may or may not have seen has gone and lit a fire inside her.

"Think you're in love huh?" Her smile shifts to a smirk, mischief creeping swiftly to her features. There is a playfulness coming alive as she shifts toward her stomach. "I think you might actually be in love, no thinking involved." She turns herself toward shore and paddles in with ease.

I watch her for a moment, her words settling heavily on my chest. I had been caught. She's always known that I would love her. She never second guessed me. She challenged me. She believed in me. She felt what no other was able to feel. Maybelle didn't live in this world with rose colored glasses. She lived in it with Maybelle colored glasses. One's that allowed her to see deeply past everyone's surface. She never questioned her judgement, because she knew deep down that everything would be exactly as she believed.