𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 || baxter radic

58.

I'm in shock—actually shock and awe—that he's willingly just gave up everything he's feeling to the woman who just pushed him so close to the edge. I should have saw this coming—I should have known she was going to try to send him off the ledge. She'd never do it herself though, she let someone else do it for her.

It was my mother for me. Now I had just thrown Baxter off the ledge, hoping he'd be able to catch himself. My mother shoved me off knowing I'd crumble into a million pieces. I am half of her, she raised me. She knew the inner workings of my mind better than most people. I hated it, but it was true.

"Now we are here because I support her. So please I beg you, do not rip her away from me. I don't know how I will be able to hold myself together if you do." Bax rips his eyes from mine as he finishes speaking. His words are no longer for me, but only for her.

"You do love her." My therapist nods her head at him. "Well done, now if you both would please take a seat." She motions to the couch behind us—the two of us sliding down into it slowly. There's hesitancy in every move Bax makes. He had been manipulated, and I hated him not knowing that.

"How would you feel Bax, if you found out that you had just been manipulated in the situation that just occurred?" My therapist jumps from focusing her attention on him, to looking directly at me. It was my turn to take the floor.

"Personally, I feel like therapy is just a manipulation tactic. Whether you both planned it, or not that doesn't matter. It doesn't change the way I feel about May. May can manipulate me all she wants. At the end of the day if she loves me back, that's all I care about." Bax speak to her ignoring the fact that she had given me the floor. He wasn't about to listen to me rattle off nonsense.

"But does she love you?" My therapist asks. "Or do you just think she does?"

"May?" He looks at me.

"I broke every single rule that was given to me when I stepped outside of the treatment center for you. If I didn't love you, then I'm just plain dumb. Now I know I'm not dumb, so yes Baxter, I do love you." He nods his head already knowing that to be fact. I guess he just wanted to hear me confess it to him in front of her. As if I haven't already done that a million times in private sessions.

The next hour is spent walking in circles about love and manipulation. Bax and I didn't need relationship help. Our relationship was strong. The main reason that we went through this session was to make sure Bax understood how important this journey was. That he understood how easily I will snap at the act to defend him.

When we finish the session there's a thickness in the air. Bax's shoulders are tense, his hands keep clenching and releasing. It was very clear why he's never looked into getting help. His therapy was out on the water. He handles this situation much differently. And quite honestly, I'm glad we didn't relate on everything. It gave us time to ourselves. It gave us space to not smother.

Granted, we definitely did smother each other and neither of us found it overbearing. But it gives us that option to get away if we needed to. We had our places if we wanted to disappear for a while to clear our heads. At the end of the day we both really did just understand each other on such a deeper level than most.

"What do you want to do now?" I lean over the hood of the car waiting for Bax to answer. He's pacing around the passenger side of the car, clearly a bit on edge. It was expected, but I didn't think it would linger after the session ended.

"I either want to go work on a board or surf. I need to go clear my head." His focus doesn't shift to me as he speaks. It's clear he's mentally drained. I've been there. I get it.

"You want me to come with?" I round the front of the car, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. It was clear that he needed my touch, even if he refused to ask for it.

He shrugs in response. His voice too numbed out by his mind to let out a verbal reply.

"I think it would be nice to see what you're working on, but I feel like you're in dire need of a session." I slide my hands up under his shirt needing to feel the softness of his skin against mine.

"Maybelle, we're in public." He looks over his shoulder at me, pulling the front of his shirt down to cover his slowly exposing skin.

"Sorry, I can't stop thinking about how sexy it was to listen to you talk about how much you loved me. I'm a little distracted Lover Boy." I place a kiss to the center of his back, running my fingers along the rippling of his abs.

"Don't tempt me. I've already made you break enough rules Maybelle." The way my name sounds coming off the tip of his tongue is only making this situation that much worse. Every time he says my full name I feel like I'm in trouble. I need to be punished when I'm in trouble. Are my parent issues showing?