REDESIGNMENT | #BWWM | RomePi™

A dance with the DEVIL... (BWWM) 📋

-HONOR-

As badly as I want to get up and run out of my own house, I freaking can't.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to come up with answers at times when all hell has broken loose in your life? After the fact, so many ideas rush through your brain making you feel like your head just might explode.

At a point in my life when all of my discipline, hard work, and sacrifice were gearing up to pay off, I somehow managed to cross the line.

When I initially left my hometown to start my own business, I knew it was best to limit my circle of people. As long as I controlled those whom I allowed around me, I felt all would be well in my world.

Growing up in Dallas, Texas, I learned to focus on myself, but also watch out for everyone else. Trust was reserved for those whom I knew well, and even still, I had to watch for signs of deception or trickery in them.

Since I always placed barriers between myself and the world in general, I figured my life would be fine as long as I limited the number of interactions I had with strangers.

Even though I didn't technically place myself in my most recent mess, my own decision to ignore protocol led me down a course that imprisoned me within a set of circumstances which refused to let me go.

My so-called friend had a very detail-specific job to do and had she followed my instructions to the letter, I am one thousand percent sure I would not be in my current predicament. Because of one stupid, though potentially lucrative project, my world had been flipped upside down with me inside of it.

How hard is it to follow instructions?
Oh no, please don't listen to me; I don't know what the heck I'm talking about.

Everyone is always telling me that I'm just being paranoid. They constantly insist that I need to give people a chance or let's not forget my personal favorite. People assume that because I grew up with a measure of privilege, I have no idea what I'm doing when I endeavor to limit whom I expose to my business.

Unfortunately for me, because my friend thinks she knows better than me, she neglected to follow the most basic rules that I strictly freaking put in place. I don't consider myself to be better than anyone else, I just need so desperately to prevent bad stuff from happening... much like the situation I have found myself in.

For the longest time, I tried with every fiber of my being to guard myself against challenging admirers and that includes ornery customers. I was doing damn good until I mistakingly broke my own rules and set off a chain of events I don't think I would ever be prepared to escape as long as I live.

You see, I managed to find myself trapped with a full bladder feeling like I might pop at any moment.

I'm sure the average person would ask themselves, "What's preventing her from moving? " Well, I am so glad you asked that question.

Actually, I could've asked to be released, but I would not. Under the circumstances, I wasn't prepared to deal with more of his mess. By asking that low-down dirty beast for just a mere second of reprieve, I would be confirming that he exercised some sort of power over me and that would open me up to an even greater onslaught of problems.

Personally, I would never in a million years allow the man or his perversities to enter my realm or pollute my mind if only we hadn't met in the first place. He has to be the most morally bankrupt and unapologetic person I have ever met when it comes to his proclivities and devious machinations. Yeah, he might play nice and let me go, but I'm pretty doggone sure there would be a high price for my request.