Little Mewis

You're So Stupid

"I'm fi‐ACHOO!" You sneezed as the Vets glared at you. "I'm fine, just let me‐"

"No!" Christen glared. "You're staying in bed, and that's final."

You attempted to sit up, abandoning the action as multiple pairs of hand shoved you back down. "At least gimme' me phone, it's blowin' up and I can't fookin' think straight."

Tobin handed it over. "Don't be on it for too long."

You ignored her, clicking on the topmost missed call. "He‐"

"Y/N! Idiota! What the fuck are you doing playing a whole futbol match with a fever?" Alexia raged. "Muy estupida!"

"Little Mewis!" Mapi reprimanded in the background. "I thought you said you were going to take care of yourself!"

You winced. "I's was just... uh‐"

"'I hAvE aLlErGieS,'" Ona mocked. "Puta!"

You laughed awkwardly. "It's fine, guys. These stubborn ass fooks won't let me get up anyways."

"BIEN!" Your former Barca teammates yelled in unison.

You scowled. "Yea', yea', whatever. I've got about 80 missed calls, I'll talk to you all later."

"Adios, idiota!" Mapi stated cheerfully as you hung up the phone.

You groaned, placing it down on the spot next to your head.

"Tooooobyyyyy," you whined sticking your arms in the air. "Up."

The older woman held firm as Becky, Alyssa, Kelley, Alex, and Christen looked on. "No."

"But I 'ave to take a piss!"

"Kelley, go find her a bucket."

"EW!"

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"I'M SICK NO YELLING FEEL BAD FOR ME!" You rushed out as Leah picked up the phone.

"You're so stupid! We said take care of yourself and you go and-"

You cut her off. "Play 90 minutes of Footall? Yeah. It was totally worth it."

Jordan snickered, probably sitting next to Leah on the couch at home. "You doing okay?"

"I would be if these absolute di- ACHOO- if these absolute- ACHOO- if these fookin'- ACHOO- eh... it's fine, everythin's fine."

Your companions raised their eyebrows questioningly as you diverted your gaze to the floor.

"Riiight," Leah said, skeptical. "Your teammates are there, yeah?"

You huffed. "Unfortunately. Fookin' Tobin wouldn't even let me up to use the bathroom."

"So what? You gonna wet the bed?"

"Apparently, we're on a boat. She wants me to use a motherfookin' bucket."

Leah and Jordan laughed. "Sounds fun!"

"Fook' you!"

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"Little Mewis!" Lisa scolded. "Why didn't you tell anyone you weren't feeling well?"

You coughed. "I's was just- y'know."

"Being stubborn? Yeah, I know."

"'Ey!" You grumbled. "I'm not that stubborn. Just a little bit."

"Mhmm," she scoffed, unconvinced. "Have you talked to Viv yet?"

"No," you said, picking at your fingernails due to boredom. "I've got about 40 different teammates to call, and I don't know where Viv is on me missed calls list."

The Scottish woman mumbled something under her breath. "Well, feel better, and hurry up and call everyone back. They're probably worried after your little stunt."

"Yeah, yeah, okay. Bye, shorty."

"I'm not short!"

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"Hi, Viv," you mumbled. "What's-"

"Y/N Y/M/N Mewis!" The Dutchwoman scolded. "Why didn't you tell anyone you were sick? Are you stupid?"

"Yes."

"Drink lots of water. No getting up out of bed. If I find out you aren't resting I'm calling Kim."

Your face turned a ghostly white. "No! Me teammates are 'ere, don't call Kim! It's fine, everyth-ACHOO everythin's fine."

"Alright," she agreed. "But take care of yourself."

You huffed. "Can't, these stupid jerks are treatin' me like a baby."

"Good!" Viv approved.

"'Ey!"

"Why do you sound so offended? You act like one."

"Bitch!"

---------------

"Lyyyyyssyyy," you pouted after all but the Keeper had left the room. "Can I use the bathroom? Like... the bathroom bathroom? I'm not goin' in that fookin' bucket."

She smiled. "Sure, kiddo."

"You're me favorite!" You beamed, slowly sitting up to avoid a headache. "Don't tell anyone else though."

"I won't."

--------------

"Why's the piss bucket dry?" Kelley asked, concerned. "Have you been holding your pee this whole time?"

You shook your head slightly, grinning at her and Tobin. "Somebody let me use the actual bathroom."

Tobin's eyes widened. "Who?! You're supposed to be on TOTAL bedrest! No getting up!"

You smirked, eyes subtly drifting over to Alyssa who was sitting in the corner of the room and reading a book. "I don't knoooow."

"You're so stubborn."

"They don't call me Mini McCabe for no reason, dumbfuck."

"Language."

"Wat is er mis met Engels?" (What's wrong with English?)

"What?"

"Wat?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

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Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!