WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ↠ Mazikeen [2]

12 | REDEMPTION

TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter mentions self-harm

IZZY COULDN'T DECIDE whether she was happy or not to be home – she also couldn't say no to Mazikeen when the woman had undressed and invited her girlfriend to bed, but as weary as she had become through the past two days, she had hoped to put off sleeping a little bit longer. The idea made her press her nails into her palms until crescents formed on the pale skin, but she still put a smile on her face and embraced Maze, not sure what was wrong with her or how she would even bring it up. All she knew was that Michael continued to haunt her, whether she was knocked out or up and about, and whenever she stopped moving, she was rendered useless and broken by the images of his face.

She did, however, manage to sleep – blame it on her body being unable to run without some any longer – but as soon as her alarm rang in the morning, she didn't hesitate to jump out of bed and ditch the dreadful nightmares she couldn't get rid of; like a virus, they poisoned every moment she spent with her eyes closed. An incurable one, at that.

As soon as Maze was out of bed, as well, Isadora was yanking the sheets off and getting to work. Meticulously, she stripped down the duvets and pillows, creating a great, big pile of laundry on the floor while Mazikeen was in the shower. Once she stepped out, though, she remained in the doorway between their bathroom and bedroom and frowned at the sight of her girlfriend nearly breathless from the effort of changing the sheets right here, right now.

"Babe", Maze called out, and when her words went unheard by Izzy, the worried crinkles on her face deepened. "Baby, this is the third time you've changed our sheets in the past week", she acknowledged – not judging, simply noting that her obsessive behavior was spinning out of control. "Have you been taking your meds?"

At that, Izzy stopped, hesitating before looking over to Maze. She was that worried? "You'd know if I'd stopped. I can't go a day off of them without throwing up", she reminded, but when Mazikeen continued to stare, she took in a deep breath and nodded. "I'm... not sure the medication helps as much as I need right now. I just feel off. I can't sleep, I-I feel like I'm barely holding it together-", she blurted out, the words just continuing to tumble off of her tongue, and acting on instinct, Maze kicked her way through the dirty laundry on the floor and wrapped an arm around Izzy.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Have you felt this way for long?" Maze asked with her eyebrows knitted together, and with a surge of guilt kicking at her chest, Izzy ducked her head down to avoid the piercing gaze on her.