Frenemies

23

I study him after dropping that question at him, a question I'm serious about. He scratches the back of his head and he also avoids eye contact with me, which should be hard as I'm intensively staring at him. I nudge his shoulder with mine and he looks at me. "It's hard for me to say goodbye." 

"Seriously?", I ask, not understanding him one bit. 

"I swear. It's difficult to say goodbye knowing I'd probably never see that person again", he says. 

"So you would rather have that person go about their day not knowing? You'd want them to think it was their fault? You'd want them to miss you and want nothing more than to see you again? It hurts." 

"Julie–"

"It really hurt", I say, changing the verb tense. I stand up from my spot on the filthy floor and head to the mirror. I find that my mascara has started to run off and my concealer is peeling. I wipe an aggressive hand over my face and then just decide to wash my face fully. I've been here before. 

"Julie—"

"Why is this giving me deja vu?", I ask him, turning around to him, my face drenched. He makes a face at me but I only raise my eyebrow. "I honestly don't remember", I add.

He sighs and then says,"We were in the bathroom together on Halloween." 

"Kill me now.", I don't even want to know what we were doing together. 

"You were just throwing up when I found you to explain why I had left. But then I realized that you were drunk so I couldn't explain fully." 

"Did I get a chance to yell at you?", I ask, wiping my face with the paper towel. He nods and I say,"Good. You deserve it, jerk." 

"And so we went all the way down to her house but instead of staying, we fought to leave and so we came back." It takes me a second to understand what he is saying. He is continuing his explanation from earlier. 

"And you decided to come join a Halloween party the first night back?", I ask hurt that he would be interested in a party first thing after ghosting me for a whole week. 

"I wanted nothing more than to talk to you", Grayson says following me out of the bathroom.

 I shake my head and turn to him abruptly,"You know I've never once heard you apologize." 

"I'm sorry, J–"

"Even though I wouldn't forgive you", I interrupt him, my voice louder, stronger now.  

"What?", he says looking confused and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. 

"A simple 'I'm sorry' won't change anything. What you did, or rather didn't do, hurt me. I actually cried for half the week." The confession would've made me cringe any other day, but today I was done with him. I was done pretending to be fine with his jerky behavior.

"You cried?"

"Oh my God, I cried on your doorstep", I say, not bothering to be embarrassed but rather mad now. 

"Yeah", he says and I cross my hands over my chest. His eyes follow down and a memory of my bra out in front of his face flashes in my mind. I scowl at him and say,"You perv." 

"What did I do now?", he says and I glare at him. 

"No, you don't get to do that. You don't get to act all nonchalant with me." 

"I was just referring—"

"Oh my God. You are insufferable, and I am officially banned from all parties."