Frenemies

41

I have been staying at Grayson's house for about four days now. And for four days I have been constantly checking my phone for texts from my parents. Something that can tell me that they want me back. I hadn't left because I wanted to spite them, I left so I can show them that they need to start caring about me.

I left because I couldn't phantom the idea of living with my parents after they had basically shown me that they didn't love me.

After talking, well shouting, to my parents I had gotten worse. As soon as Grayson pulled up to his driveway I made a beeline for his bathroom, and wanting to close it behind me. But I couldn't, Grayson had taken a hold of the door.

"Juliette", he says to me as I search his drawer for the blade I kept here. Grayson gave me back my things just the other week after he had told me that I had gotten better. Not the best I could be, but better. I don't listen to him though, I grab the blade and take a seat on the bathroom floor.

Grayson takes a seat in front of me. "Just one more time", I whisper to him. I needed to do it one more time. Just to get rid of the hurt they caused. "Just one more", I say and slip off my pants. I don't even feel awkward as Grayson watches.

I spread my legs and place my wrist on my thigh. My hands are shaking, the tears are flowing out of my eyes too fast. I bring the blade to my thigh and feel the cool of it. I hadn't pressed it yet, hadn't pulled the skin under it. I close my eyes and feel it.

"Do it", a voice says from before me. I look up to see my boyfriend staring down at me, his eyes trained on mine. "Do it, Juliette. Hurt yourself."

I freeze, the hand on my thigh shakes harder now. "Do it", he says his face pale. "Hurt yourself."

"Gray?", I whisper to him and he moves closer to me. He places a hand on my chin and moves my head up to meet his eye. "Hurt yourself one more time."

"I don't understand", Gray would never say this. Why was he saying it now?

"Place the blade back on your thigh and with one tiny swipe, you could be bleeding now", he says and I feel my heartbeat fasten. What's happening?

"But just know that you aren't hurting youself", he says softly, his eyes glistening with tears. "You're hurting me."

And with one fast movement, he places his hand on my wrist and pulls the blade out of my hand. He jumps up from his spot and hisses when the blade touches his skin. I look up at him and with his eyes on me, he takes the blade and throws it in the trash can.

"You don't need to hurt yourself to feel something", he says. "Someone else hurting you is enough."

I stand up on wobbly legs and head toward him. "I don't...", I'm not sure what I want to say. What is there to say?

"You did so good", he says a slow smile appearing on his face. "For a whole month, close to two, you have done spectacular so why now?"

I look down at the floor,"They hurt me."

"I know they did", Grayson says his voice hoarse. "I know they were asholes. But why do you need to cut yourself to feel it?"