My Lover

Tiny Little Piece

It's been a month since Rosalie made the decision of guarding her heart, and she has to admit that Sheppard was right when he said that it wouldn't be easy to push her feelings for Evan to the side. In fact, she has never felt so miserable has she had for the past month, and it seemed as if her heart has decided that that day was a good day to make her feel like crap about it.

The more she tried to protect her heart, the more she fell for Evan and that is exactly the problem. She wants nothing more than to be with him, but she knows that he doesn't feel the same way, so now she's stuck in a never ending cycle of misery and being brokenhearted.

Kneeling by a set of ruins that needed translating, Rosalie takes a deep breath, trying her best to refocus on the task at hand. She has been off-world with Evan and his team for the last couple of hours, trying to translate the writings on the walls of the ruins, but her thoughts keep getting in the way.

Rosalie shakes the thoughts out of her mind, yet again, the heaviness in her heart not leaving, when she hears footsteps behind her. She would recognize that walk anywhere.

-"Hey." - Evan stands right beside her.

-"Hey. If you're hoping for an update, I'm almost done. Just give me another thirty, forty minutes and I should be done."

-"Take your time. No rush."

-"Thanks." - She looks up at him and smiles, sadness still in her eyes.

-"So, how are things between you and Sheppard?"

-"Mm, good?" - Rosalie answers, confused.

-"That's good."

He doesn't ask her anything else, instead leaves her to her work and scans the treeline behind her. "Okay, that was weird.", she thinks before returning to her work, confused as to why he would ask her that.

Evan is scanning the treeline but his attention is still with Rosie. He knows better than to ask her about her love life, but he needs to know if Sheppard is treating her right or not. And if he's not, then Evan is sure he is going to get court marshaled, because he will beat Sheppard up if he hurts Rosie.

Still, the look of sadness in her eyes tells him that something isn't right. He knows that now isn't the time to get into it, so he decides to leave it alone until they are back at the city, where they can be alone and talk.

Thirty minutes later and Rosie tells him that she's done. Packing everything up, they make their way to the jumper. As they walk, Evan takes a good look at his best friend and can tell that something is definitely weighing her. Asking her if she's okay, he hears her say that she is just tired.

Now, Evan will be the first to admit that living in Atlantis can be exhausting, but something tells him that there's more to it. He knows Rosie better than anyone and he can see that whatever is going on, it's taking its toll on her.

They arrive to the city a few minutes later, and after giving his report to Weir, Evan goes in search of Rosie. He needs to make sure that she is okay. Evan finds her in one of the balconies and just stands by the door, watching her.

It is clear she didn't hear the door opening, otherwise she would've turned around, but the more Evan watches her, the more his heart hurts. It isn't until he sees her wiping a few tears away and taking a deep breath that he realizes that she is crying. Whatever is going on, it must be bad.

Taking long and fast strides towards her, he takes her by the shoulders and turns her to him, wrapping his arms around her tight. Rosie leans her head on his shoulder and starts crying, hugging him back. Hearing her cry like that makes his heart break even more. "I swear, if he hurt her, I'll kill him.", Evan swears in his mind, not wanting to scare her.

Eventually, Rosie's sobs subside and she pulls back, wiping away a few stray tears that are still falling.

-"Rosie, what's wrong?"

-"Nothing. I'm just being silly."

-"What'd you mean?"

-"It's nothing." - She starts walking away, but Evan stops her.

-"Don't do that. Don't push me away, Rosie. What's going on?"

-"The truth? I have feelings for someone that I'm sure only sees me as a friend." - Rosalie lets out a breath, wishing she didn't just tell Evan how she feels about him, even if he doesn't know it's him.

-"I see. Well, if you want I can talk to him and see how he really feels about you." - His heart is now in tiny little pieces, but if that's what she needs from him to be happy, so be it.

-"I appreciate you wanting to do that, but this is my mess. I have to clean it up myself."

-"Rosie, I don't mind. Besides, you have been my best friend long before Sheppard."

-"What?" - It takes Rosalie a minute to realize that Evan thinks that she's in love with Sheppard, but when she does, she's mortified. -"Oh. OH! God, no. It's not Sheppard. He's like a brother to me. It's... Someone else."

-"None the less, my offer stands."

-"Look, to be honest, I'm more upset with myself than anything else. I should've never put myself in this situation."

-"Rosie, for as long as I've known you, you always had the biggest heart out of everyone that I know. Any man would be lucky to be with you."

-"Thanks. That means a lot more than you know. And, as per usual, thank you for having my back."

They chuckle, and Rosie kisses his cheek before thanking him again and leaving for her lab. Evan stays there a few minutes longer, kicking himself for not saying something. But when he thinks it through, ultimately it needs to be Rosie's decision to be with him. And if she's in love with someone else, then any chance he might've had to be with her, is definitely off the table.

As he walks the corridors, heading for his quarters, Evan can't help but think that he messed up. As soon as he started having feelings for her, he should've told her. Maybe if he had, now he would be able to tell her just how much he really loves her and her tears wouldn't be tears of sadness but ones of happiness.

But, as with everything, hindsight is always twenty/twenty and all he can do now is hope that this hurt that he is feeling and that threatens to tear him apart, doesn't take too long to leave.