Pieces of Moonbeams

CXXXVIII: criss-crossed paths

i leave things to where they're supposed to be. you may, as well, place things out of their empty shell if you know that there is no room for the both of you inside.

please, my beloved, do not carry the love on your heart, entangled with heaviness & the weight that risk yourself into falling apart. in knees kneeling down on the ground with no hands to reach for you. in gloomy holes submerging yourself in vain distances you could never cross--'cause your feet are sinking gradually into the abysmal black hole. in veiny arms caressing only the cold crust, only for a mere fact that you're not embracing the hands you want to hold.

no matter how we carry on a thing or a person that is dearest to us—no matter the grip, loose or tight. no matter the shades of color—vibrant nor monochrome—nor blacks nor whites. no matter how you utterly carry them from your palms to your fingertips. no matter how you put intensity within your flesh looking for them, if they will, they will not slip.

no matter how your nerves & veins have to bear the weights they anchor on your being. even if you tamper precious moments just to carry them on your back, just to lift the spheres of the world you walk into, just to take a peek of the scenery backwards at the back of the train: the ones you hold tight could also lost directions, move into places you hadn't set into motion, no matter how you steer & maneuver the fragmentary moments you had shared with them.

i know it's hard to adore something we love—to leave something we love--something that's beyond our capacity to control. but isn't it a definition of happiness, to let the things we love to be happy as well? to answer a question without having the interiors of understanding to fold. to let them experience gratefulness without us giving it to them. to let them blossom into metaphors we could never decode. to let them be happy, without us questioning it. aren't the orange skies glister while unlit?

you don't have to be on the exact criss-crossed paths nor parallel railings, nor diverging galaxies searching for stars, nor conflicting parts wanting to find answer for each other, nor you both have to traverse in stations & bus stops that coincide with seconds you split into miles you constructed—it doesn't matter so long as you're having destinations. so long as you have your own pace—to walk into.

August 06, 2023
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