After Effects

Chapter 37. - A Moment of Peace

I ran through the door of the girls bathroom and into a booth that had just gotten unlocked, skipping the line in waiting. The woman had barely closed the door to the booth before i ripped it open again and immediately locked it before someone could stop me.

"Fucking bitch!" I heard a girl shout at me. It was probably the girl that was the first in line.

I got down on my knees, collected my hair and bend over. Saliva dripped out of my mouth and my teeth felt like fragile glass. My entire body and face broke out into a cold sweat as a heat wave ran through my body. I felt my stomach twist and turn into cramps, pushing up whatever it didn't want to digest. I coughed up nothing but disgusting and distasteful liquid and nasty slime into the toilet. I felt my vision darken as my stomach emptied itself. I gasped for air as soon as i stopped throwing up. Before i could even go a minute without feeling dizzy i felt my stomach twist and turn into painful cramps again. The smell of it made me want to throw up again for a third time, but my entire body was shaking so much and so weak that i couldn't. Instead i just wiped my mouth with some toilet paper and flushed the toilet.

"You done or are you gonna take all day?" The same girl yelled at my door after a minute or 2. In response i just kicked the door hard. The entire room went quiet except the water running from the sinks and the flushing toilets. I leaned against the wall but immediately felt sick again and hurried to face the toilet.

When I finally felt like I wasn't going to throw up anymore, I took a bunch of toilet paper and wiped my mouth. I spit multiple times into the toilet to get the nasty taste of vomit out of my mouth, but without luck. I hadn't actually thrown anything up other than stomach acid and water. I flushed the toilet and dumped my butt down on the bathroom floor and leaned my back and head against the wall.

I fucking hated throwing up. And i fucking hated anxiety. And i fucking hated throwing up because of anxiety.

But most of all, i freaking hated airports.

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"You good?" Nace asked me. I felt Jure put his arm around me. I gave them a weak smile and just nodded my head. I was no way near having the energy to talk right now. Not while we were still at the airport. We had just gotten our baggage and now we were just about to go find a ride to the hotel.

"We're an hour late. In 1 hour and 50 minutes we have a soundcheck and we are still at the airport." I heard Jure tell the camera Mark held. I really hoped Mark wasn't filming me because i knew i looked awful right now. Pale, frightened, filled with anxiety and shaking from exhaustion and the fact that i still felt sick.

"How long does it take to get to the hotel?" Kris asked. Jan took out his phone and began to find a route. Someone appeared next to me. I looked to see Bojan with his eyes locked on Jan and his suitcase in hand. With his presence in the room - much less so close to me - i felt a sense of security. All i wanted to do was to wrap my arms around him and feel his chest rise up and down with every breath he took. I wanted to hear his heart beat in his chest and pump blood around in his body. I looked up at him until he looked at me, then i looked away.

I could feel the sympathy he was feeling towards me even when i wasn't looking at him. I hated feeling so vulnerable and exposed. Why couldn't i just travel like a normal person? Why did i have to struggle?