After Effects

Chapter 25. - Medical History

!!A/N IMPORTANT!!

This book is purely based on personal experience, research and facts about medicine, anxiety, tourettes and autism. Nothing for this book is made up. Everything is researched. One of my goals with this book is to bring awareness on autism. The mental health part of the story is based on personal experiences with a medicated anxiety diagnosis, Tourettes syndrome, functional tics and Autism. It's important that you all remember that everyone experiences autism, anxiety, tourettes (and/or whatever else) very differently - the description in this book is only one version.

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Tuva's POV:

Jan stood up to open the door and in the doorway i saw what looked like a doctor. The woman had black braided hair sat in a low ponytail. Her dark skin was seemed to be very smooth and she had a Marilyn Monroe beauty mark - and not like Kris' Marilyn Monroe beauty mark, but Marilyn Monroe's actual beauty mark. She wasn't some fake copycat like Kris when it came to that beauty mark. The doctor was wearing one of those white doctor coats and had a little bag with her.

"Hej, i was called about a fainting episode and was told that the patient should be in here." The woman said. Kris got up and walked over to Jure who was still sitting in the same chair after 2 hours. Kris was still holding on to Booze the Goose.

"You called a doctor?" I quietly asked Bojan and looked at him with sad eyes. I didn't like doctors. Nor did i like psychiatrists, nurses or physiotherapists. Psychologists were alright, but most people within the medical field were assholes. Maybe not the ones who worked with physical work, but the ones that worked with mental health and neurological disabilities most certainly had every permission to fuck right off. I'd learned that the hard way. In the system nobody listens to you. You can give all the warning signs for suicidal thoughts but unless you directly tell a psychiatrist "I want to kill myself" they're not gonna do shit about it. The only thing the system has ever done for me was prescribe me Sertraline. And fuck, i had to fight for it. Before i ever went to the doctor about my mental health i researched the hell out of my symptoms and i was never wrong. Anxiety, Autism, Tourettes, all things i figured out before any doctor ever did. Before anyone ever did.

"Of course we did." Bojan said looking at me like i was stupid for thinking they wouldn't have.

"Yes, over here." Jan pointed his arm in my direction. When i turned my head the doctor stood in front of me with a warm smile. Doctors are trained to make a patient feel comfortable and safe around them, but the situation felt anything but comfortable and safe. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

"Hello there, sweetie. I'm doctor Delgado." The kind woman reached her hand out to me. Just by looking at it i felt like screaming and crying. I did most certainly not want to shake her hand right now. Even though doctors were very clean and hygienic they were also people. Strangers. And strangers were covered in germs. Germs are dangerous. Therefore; Stranger danger. I didn't want to be rude so i gave her the best smile i could muster and lifted my hand as wave. She let her hand fall to her side with a sigh. It made me feel bad. Some form of negative emotion rooted in shame and guilt, but not like with my sexuality and internalized homophobia. It was more a shame based on neurological build than attraction.

This was a common feeling. One that'd show up pretty much every time i didn't shake someone's hand or give them a hug. One that'd appear whenever i said something wrong. One that'd eat me alive whenever i needed to cancel plans due to anxiety. Doctor Delgado began to sanitize her hands and take on those blue plastic doctor gloves.