"𝐭𝐨𝐦, 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮."

Getting worse.

Over these past two or three days, my mind was not functioning properly. I ate less like before, got thinner to say the least. I measured my weight yesterday on the scale, 53 kg.

Last time I measured it was in America, I think I had about 58 or something.

I got more SH cuts. 4 to say the least. I never told anyone about self-harming myself. I never liked sharing things, mostly because I think they would judge me and my parents would probably send me to therapy or something, and I didn't want that.

Throughout the days, the Kaulitz would sometimes come over, even we went to them sometimes. I gotta say, Bill's room changed a lot. I still haven't really been in Tom's room.

If your asking about Alina, well...she did beat me up.

At thursday, this week actually, when those two Christmas days ended. She saw me talking to Tom even though I just asked him if he would go with me home because Bill had music practice.

She left a few small bruises around my chest, to be honest, it did hurt a bit still. Whenever I inhaled a deep breath, my ribs would hurt, and I would cough a lot like a grandma.

Her two accomplices as I would say, threw me against the trash can behind the school and even shoved my head against the wall.

They also left my lip a bit bruised. I didn't want to tell anyone, because that would just get me into more problems. Now I was definitely sure I was gonna avoid Tom.

My grades got a bit worse, went from an excellent record (1.0) to a sufficient (3.6).

I wish I never came back here, it was already a nightmare for me.

10:40 AM, 29.12.2008

We got the winter break from school since the New year was coming up.

Since thursday, and since ive started SH again, I no longer was able to wear short-sleeved shirts and shirts with scoop necks.

I ate breakfast slowly on the table, alone. My parents were out at the grocery store. Suprisingly, after the Kaulitz left, my dad didn't really drink like he used to.

My breakfast consisted of water and sliced up cucumbers with salt in a bowl.

By the way, I never told Tom what happened with me and Leo. I always avoided him whenever he would ask me that question.

Anyway, I washed the dishes and decided I would go out.

I slipped on my converse, aswell as my jacket and went out the door.

I walked around and went to the main, crowded area of the city. Passing by millions of shops and restaurants, thats when I saw Bill and Tom in the distance, looking at the display window of a shop.

Why did Tom have to be there? I got a bit close and saw they were looking at a..big teddy bear that holded a small heart.

Just like the one they gave me when we were younger, as a sign of friendship. Fucking...im gonna break down in tears in the middle of the street.

Chloe, shake off your goddamn thoughts.

That's when I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders that startled me.

"Hey Clo! Did I scare you a bit?" Bill said with a chuckle.

I turn to look at him.