"𝐭𝐨𝐦, 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮."

The day before New year's.

Today was the day before New year's. We took off some of the Christmas decorations and Lilian invited us to dinner tonight.

My dad got a bit better, he did drink about two bottles a day. Before he drank more than that, reaching almost to 6 bottles or so.

I love when the time of school breaks come. Only because I dont get panic attacks and social anxiety. School was basically hell for me. I was always...introverted yet extroverted, combined I guess. Though im just introverted and quiet now. But I like it that way and I wish it would stay that way.

13:05 PM, 30.12.2008

We were driving to the mall as my mom wanted to pick out some gifts for the Kaulitz. I honestly did ask her if I can stay home but she brushed off my question, so I guess im going to the dinner.

For about two hours we walked around and picked presents. My hands were busy holding bags like some sort of clothing hanger. My dad was walking with my mom infront of me, looking around.

For Tom, they bought some nike shoes that he once mentioned when he was staying over at our house. For Bill some candy and they slipped in some money in the gift bag, and for Lilian my mom picked out a necklace.

The necklace was so pretty, it was from Pandora. A shiny silver one with some small, diamondy hearts.
I wanted one too, to be honest. I can already imagine how Lilian would look so pretty with the necklace around her neck. Her blonde, wavy hair would compliment it so much with her matching blue eyes like the waves of the sea.

After roaming around the mall for a while, I also got myself a little gift. It was a funko pop of Stitch from Disney. I was a bit happy at the gift.

We got home and I immediately went for my room. I opened up the Stitch and stared at it for a bit, drowning deep in my thoughts.
I wonder, how would my young self react to me now?

The once little girl that had a smile on herself at every second of the day, cries and cuts herself now.

What happened?

I set aside the figurine and my mom called me from downstairs.

"Chloe, help me with the gifts!" She yelled from downstairs.

"Coming." I yell before standing up, going out of my room.

The rest of the day went boring as usual. I still thinked about yesterday sometimes. I don't know how did Leo leave such an impact on me, aswell as Alina.

My bruises? Well, My ribs still hurt though, but I brushed it off. Whenever I looked at myself in the bathroom, I wished I never transferred here. I don't fit in here at all.

I didn't cut myself today, but I tempted. Tempted.

Soon came the evening, signaling it was time to get ready for the dinner.

You got this Chloe, make limited contact with Tom and don't talk too much. Also avoid coughing. You don't want them asking questions, do you?

19:20 PM, 30.12.2008

I've started getting ready and so did my parents. I wore something casual and comfy. A black cardigan and beneath it was a black, slightly baggy shirt. For pants I did some sweatpants and the outfit perfectly hid my stomach and bruised chest, aswell as my arms.