Desire

CHAPTER THIRTY- TWO

Adelaide

I sat in the tub after Carter yelled at me. I couldn't bring myself to actually show so I have been sitting here for the past hour staring at the wall. How did I get myself here? Why do I always fuck up my own life?

I touch my belly feeling my child inside of me. I need to do better for her. I need to choose better for myself. I finally get up and soap wash and rinse.

I walked into the living room and sat on the couch. All I could hear was the sound of Jack frying something in the kitchen. He doesn't see me at first but then he comes and sits next to me.

"Come on it's not that bad, Adelaide," he states like it's any comfort to me. Nothing is ever okay. I shouldn't have allowed Jack to stay with me, but I didn't want to sleep alone. I hate to say it, but he makes me feel.. safe.

I snapped my head towards him and immediately regretted looking into his piercing green eyes. Come on, Adelaide. You didn't even see him naked. I looked away again looking straight ahead, but I felt his eyes on me. "You don't understand anything, Jack."

He shifts on the couch and says, "That you're in love with my brother? I get that but why? He treats you like shit and you let him. If he loved you he wouldn't have thought you would do anything to hurt him."

I know he's right but I won't let him get into my head. Why the fuck does he care anyways?

I snapped my face towards him again and screamed, "And what the hell do you know about about us? Absolutely nothing,"

He breathes out like he's starting to get frustrated. "You're right, Adelaide. I don't know anything about you and my brother, but from what I heard you deserve better."

"And what? You're better?" I yelled back in a fit of anger. I hadn't realized until I said it. It hung over us.

We stared at each other for what felt like forever. His hair is still dripping from the shower. He wears a black short-sleeved shirt and jeans. He touches my hand and I pull away like he burned my hand.

"This is your chance to run. If Carter finds out about the baby, you'll never have your chance. You'll be stuck in this cycle forever,"

I can't believe this. He's just trying to mess with my head. I stood off the couch and started to walk towards my bedroom. "I have to get ready for work."

***

I'm at work in my old office. I'm sitting at my desk. It feels weird being here again. It's like I never left. Everything is completely untouched. Lucian blasts into my office and runs towards me. He brings me into a hug so tight I think I'll burst. "I'm so glad you're okay," he whispers. He sounds like he's about to cry. I let him hug me for a while even though I hate hugs. I missed him a lot.

He pulls back and knees next to me. I turned to look at him. "You don't know the hell we all been through since you have been gone,"  he says jokingly, but I knew the truth. It wasn't a joke at all. People practically applauded when I came into the building. Has Carter been putting them all through hell because of me?

I smiled. I hope he didn't see that I was sad. He always seemed to read me like a book. He doesn't say anything more. Guilt starts to fill me. I didn't mean for yesterday to happen. It just happened. Nothing happened but, I saw his face when he thought I was secretly having sex with his brother. He wouldn't believe a word I said. His face was filled with hurt.

"I missed you too, Lucian," I replied. He smiled. Then, he got off on his feet and sat in the chair in front. I took him in. He looks a complete mess. Usually, he's the one who has his life together. "Carter has been dragging everyone through hell since you have been gone," he answers when he sees me taking him in. "He missed you a lot. I would have thought you guys would be having makeup sex right now,"

"He thinks I'm fucking his brother so probably not," I said to myself. I knew he heard it when he gasped. I knew he wasn't going to let this go.

"What?" he questioned with a shocked expression on his face. I stayed quiet but he waited for me to go on. I took a deep breath and told him everything that had happened.

"Jack thought it would be funny to walk into my bathroom while I was naked and Carter walked into my house. He found us in the bathroom and he thought that I was sleeping with him behind his back,"

"Wow! Adelaide. I don't know what to say. Are you? Well, you know?" he questioned. I know what he was asking. I didn't sleep with him but maybe a little part of me wanted to. no, Adelaide. This is what he wants. Am I attracted to Jack? No. Well, he is attractive and for a moment there I thought we were going to kiss. Maybe I secretly wanted him to. I shake my head. No Adelaide. You're not going to let Jack get into your head.

"No. No, I'm not" I replied. I could tell on his face he didn't believe me and he's my best friend. He knows me better than I know myself. No, Adelaide. You're not attracted to this man. You cannot be attracted to this man.

He sits up in his chair. "Right. Well, be careful Adelaide. This sounds messy and from what I heard Jack isn't the type for marriage," he warns.

"I'm Pregnant,"

Another shocked gasp but not from Lucian. It comes from the door. I snap my eyes towards the door. Carter looks like he's about to be sick.