Desire

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Carter Gilmore

It's been a week since Adelaide went missing and I haven't heard a peep from her or Asher. I think I'm going insane.  I feel like I lost a part of myself since she got kidnapped. I shouldn't have fought with her. I find myself slowly losing hope of finding her. I feel like I'm dying. I keep waking up in the middle of the night from nightmares that Adelaide is Adelaide hurt. I can't sleep.

My daughter and I have been on nonspeaking terms since she found out about us. She is upset and a little mad which is understandable. I wish things didn't end like this. I wish I could make everything right again. We kind of just exist avoiding each other around the house.  Somedays she stays in Adelaide's apartment. She won't even look at me in the eye. I hate this.

I walked down the stairs to make coffee and breakfast before work.  I passed my hands by my face trying to wake up. I know I probably have under-eye bags but can't bring myself to care. Nothing matters since Adelaide has been gone.  I get in the kitchen and Ella is sitting in one of the spinning chairs in the kitchen. She's in complete silence staring off into nothing. Coffee cup in front of her.

"Did you love her?" She asked if she sensed my presence behind me or if she heard my footsteps.  I can tell she's been waiting to ask me this for a while. Was she waiting for me to get hip? Shit. I did not want to have this conversation today of all things. We were going to have this conversation someday. I'm just going to have to suck it up and do it. Adelaide would have wanted it this way. She would want me to be strong and honest. She takes my silence as a chance to say more.  "I can't get it out of my mind. I mean you and Adelaide. You and my best friend," her voice trails off.

I let her words sink into me as I walk across from the table from her.  I think distance is the best thing for us. She won't want to throw something at my head. I have to be honest so I say, "I don't know what to say that's going to make you feel better about this, " I replied honestly. I think honesty is the best policy. Leaving everything on the table. Leaving nothing to chance.

I meet her eyes and she looks sad like she's been crying for weeks. I can't stand it. Her eyes are red and swollen, her voice is barely there. I just want to fix this but I don't know how to. "I don't think anything you say is going to make me feel better."

A silence falls on the kitchen. I can see her thinking in her head trying to make sense of all of it. There's a long pause before Ella speaks again. "Did you fucking love her?" she asks me again. She's looking me straight in the eye but I don't know if either she or I can handle the answer to the question.

"Answer me, Dad!" she asked, her voice going up a few notches. She's getting angrier the more I don't answer but I don't think she wants an answer. I don't think she's ready for it. I can't protect her from this. I know this and I tried. It was going to come out eventually. Even after all the times, we both ran away from each other. We always end up in the same place because we are magic. Obsessive, compulsive, and completely in love with each other. A love both of us were scared of.

"I do love her, probably more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life" I stated affirmatively. Now is the time to put everything on the table. Not lies. No hiding. It's time to live in our truth and when Adelaide comes back there will be no running, no hiding, just us.

She slams her fist on the table. She's understandably angry. "She's my best friend, dad. I can't believe you took advantage of her. She's young she has no idea what she wants in life."

"Adelaide couldn't be taking advantage of even if I had tried. She's way stronger than that. You as her best friend should know that. I love Adelaide. It was real and passionate. I was falling head over heels for her. I never knew love could be so strong. It was addicting and I became obsessed."

"All I'm hearing is you had sex with my best friend. I trusted you and her. You both betrayed me and lied to me and for what? I know you don't love her. You never loved anything. You fuck anything that moves."

It hits me in my gut. How does she think I could ever hurt her? She's angry and in pain so I understand. She's missing her as much as I am.  "She's different," I stated.

"Yeah, fucking right she is. This is what you do. You can't handle having something you can't have. You just have to have it. I'm not going to let Adelaide fall into his trap with you. All you going to do is break her heart," she screamed.

"I wouldn't do that," I stated. She walked towards me until she was standing in front of me. Her face is red with anger. Her teeth and palms clenched to her sides.

"Look at what has happened since you came into her life. She got fucking kidnapped. She could die because of you," she points at me for dramatic effect. I don't regret anything but if I could have changed things I would. We were stupid and naive to think this wouldn't blow up in our faces. But I never expected this.

"You don't think I care about Adelaide being kidnapped? I fucking do. Adelaide is my heart and soul and I feel like they both have been ripped from my fucking chest. I have been sleeping I can barely breathe. I walk around like a fucking zombie and yell at my employees so much they avoid me when I come in. I can't go into my home office because if I do I get all in my head and I think about killing myself. You don't think I care I do more than you think. "

"Oh," she says like she finally realized that I was serious. Her face fell and for the first time since this happened her face expressed is one of sympathy. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. Then she cries.

ADELAIDE

I'm in a strange house with a strange man. Asher kidnapped me and brought me to this house, that I think is in the woods. I have been sick to my stomach vomiting, headache. He put locks on the front door that only he has the key to but I had free range in the house. It's been a week since I have been kidnapped. 

He walks into the bedroom and sits next to me. I tried not to move or let him know that I was scared of him. Knowing him it could get violent. He claims he's in love with me but it's only obsession. He thinks he loves me. "Hey Princess, feeling better," he asked putting my hair behind my ears. I tried to keep my body from shaking.

I nod. He hasn't tried anything since I been sick but kissing me and trying to cuddle on the couch and bed. He doesn't know a secret I have been hiding from Carter. I have been keeping it a secret for a while. I don't know for sure but I have been having all symptoms of it. If Asher finds out he'll throw me down the stairs or try to cut it out of my stomach which I don't want. He thinks I have a fever and I keep it that way.

"Aww and your Prince Charming hasn't found you yet. I told you he doesn't love you. The person who loves you is me." He says whispering into my ears. Chills to go through my back.  Carter loves me I know he does. He will find me and take me home.  Everyone probably already knows about the situation. I thought about coming back to that and I found myself dreading it. Ella is never going to forgive me.

"Carter does love me," I spit back. He grabs a fist full of my hair and yanks it so my face is right in his. He spits on my face. I winced in pain.

"Why would Carter love such a dirty whore like you? No one will love you like I will."