Desire

Chapter thirty-Nine

Carter

Now that Adelaide has left what is my life? I lost the love of my life.  I shouldn''t have left my ex wife get to me. I fucking messed up and now we have paid the cost. I lost possibly the best thing that ever happened to me all because I was stupid. So damn stupid.

Now, I'm staring at a messy office. Seconds ago I trashed it completely. Paper all over the floor, expensive furniture turned upside now. No one has came in since I threw a chair at my intern assistant and I missed. Thank God. The last thing I need is a someone getting hurt because I am I spiraling without Adelaide. Adelaide kept me grounded. She showed me what it was like to be loved unconditionally with all my faults and now I lost her.

Adelaide could be anywhere. I need to find her. I need to explain. I don't know how I am doing to do it but I will find her even if it kills me. I know the only person who's can. Even if it means entrusting someone I hate. He'll help me find her. I think what I am most afraid of is that he won't answer and I'll know the answer to the question I have been fighting for ages.

I sit on the floor of my office  with my legs crossed. I take my phone from my pocket and I pull up Jacks contact information but I hestiant to tap his contact. Why? Because u secret know what it means if he doesn't answer. What if? no I can't let myself think that.

I hit his contact and the phone rings one and immediately goes to voicemail. Shit. Shit. Shit. What if? No. Adelaide wouldn't do that to me, she loves but it would make sense if they were together right now. Jack has always been her support system. He grounded her even all I have done is hurt her.

What the fuck do I do?

Moments later a gentle, slow knock on the door like the person is afraid. Sir?" The voice asked cautiously. I knew the voice like the back of my hand. My new secretary.

"Come in, Kia" he said gently. The last thing I wanted was to scare Kia away. She has been a huge help me to lately.

She opens the door slowly, her eyes widely at the mess. Then, she meets my eyes. Her eyes turn to sympathy with a hint bit of fear.

"Yes Kia?" I asked with an authoritative tone. I was still her boss I wasn't going to let her see the vulnerable side of me. I'm supposed to be powerful. Yet, all I feel is powerless.

I need to stop sulking and take action against the people who wronged me. I will make the world burn. I am from the Mafia after all. It's in my blood but first I need Adelaide back.

I make my way back into my apartment. I wasn't going to be much help at the office anyways. I head to the basement. Adelaide didn't know this but the basement was full of weapons and military grade equipment. I might not be in the mafia anymore but I am still a Gilmore just because people haven't come for me doesn't mean they won't. I won't have my family unprotected.

Then I head to Adelaide's apartment to see if she is there. The drive is a blur as I speed through the street breaking about a million traffic laws. I don't care I just needed to see her. I finally pulled up to her house. Jacks car was in the drive way. Everything that I tried to push away came at me all at once. What if? No. I won't think like that. Adelaide is mine! I won't let him take her away from me.

I rush over to the door, anger is driving me as I knock on the door as hard as I can. I hear her gasp from the other side of the door. The door opens slowly and Jack stands at the door with his arm  holding back Adelaide like he's afraid I'm going to hurt her.

"Adelaide" I stepped forwards but Jack stepped in my way. I eyed him. "Get the fuck out of my way, Jack. Now!" I threatened, but he didn't move. "Jack. Move. Now" I repeat myself.

"Adelaide doesn't want to speak with you," he states. "She needs some space."

"Adelaide," I step again but he still was blocking me. I look up and meet his eyes and then look at Adelaide. Then, back at Jack. I need to see her why is he acting like he's her protector. I am her protector. Me.

"Let. Me. In. Now, Jack. I mean it," I threatened. He stood unfazed, still holding his arm out to protect Adelaide from me.

He turns his back to me and speak to Adelaide in a whispers so I can hear it. She looks at me and nods turning her back and walking out of sight. Before I could walk in Jack pushes me back and closes the door behind him.

"Let me see her, Jack. I have to apologize," he practically begged him. He wiped his hand over his face.

"Haven't you put Adelaide through enough pain? what? Do you wake up and think I'm going to burn every single bridge with Adelaide until she's broken."

"Of course not. I have made mistakes. I can change. I can be better for her. I want to be better for her. I can do it because I love her" I screamed in his face. "I know I fucked up so badly, but I can't live in a world where Adelaide isn't in it,"

He took a deep breath.

"Adelaide needs some space right now away from you. You can't keep doing this, Carter. Something has to change."

He turned toward the door walking away few steps away. "Then,  I'll do it. I'll change, just please don't take her away from me,"

He turned to me and chuckled. "I couldn't even if I tried. She only loves you. It's your job to be worthy of her love."

"I'll do right by her, I swear it,"

He nods.