What We Deserve

Part 12: Truth

"Are we going in or..."

"I'm thinking." I say to myself.

"What's there to think about?" I remain silent and Max turns back into myself and walks over to me. "The answer to our problems may be in there. Isn't it worth checking out?"

I remain silent and just look around the now empty space.

The silence of the room filling me with both doubt and a slight comfort.

"I don't know. Maybe it's just another reminder of how lonely I'm going to be when I wake up."

"Oh my God...you're thinking of staying." She eyes me and I feel my insides twist.

"Would it be so bad?" I ask and she kicks the box across the room.

"Would it be so bad?! Are you bloody kidding me?!" She screams and yet it doesn't each pin the vast space.

"At least here I can have him any way I want."

"News flash! I am him! You are him! You are just having yourself!!! Whatever Max says in here or does in here—IT'S JUST YOU!!!" She screams in my face and I feel so small. "You want him to love you- the real him- cannot! HE DOESN'T EXIST IN HERE!!! Even your memories you go through are just you playing all the bloody parts!"

She fumes and changes the background to Paris in front of the Eiffel Tower, and transforms into Max.

"You see?! 'Oh Helen, I love you. Let's have a baby...'." A baby magically appears in his hands and he tosses it into the Seine. "You see! It doesn't matter what happens in here! It isn't real. The fact you would even think of trapping us in here any more than we have to be—is bloody fucking ridiculous!!!"

"You don't think I know that?" I ask.

"I know you know that- Helen—I am the logical side of you. I am the one who dictates every move you make on the outside. I'm the one who keeps us safe and healthy and decently provided for."

"Well then why are we in this mess- hmm?" She trudges up to me and gets in my face.

"Because of you and your silly obsession with him." She growls and the entire space around us is just images and memories of Max moving about. "You are emotion. And for a long while- we both were content. We lived a happy life, no strife, and success was always in our future."

"You think I was happy by myself? Just fundraising. Being numb? Feeling literally nothing. You think that made us?"

"I know it did. We were feared. We were adored. Living in the lap of luxury- not having to worry about anyone, but ourself."

"And how lonely that was." I state and she scoffs. "Logical or not- you were just as miserable as I was. Max brought feeling back into our lives."

"And look what it brought us?" I look around and the space is black.

No definite floor.

Nor ceiling. No walls.

Just infinite darkness.

"If you stay here- this is what it will turn into. It isn't all fun and make believe like you had it. It'll turn into this. Just black. No voice but your own. No Max to imagine. And what happens on the outside. Hmm? Muscle decay. Cognitive recession. And eminent death.  And then that means no more logic. No more sound. No more feeling. No more thought or dreams. We will be nothing but stuck in the black. In the quiet. Until our heart stops."

Looking around at the space, I turn every which way and when I look back to where I originally was, she is gone.

Closing my eyes, I will her to come back.