What We Deserve

Part 71: Progress vs. Distress

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Jostling awake, I smack Max's shoulder as I hear a blood curdling scream coming from downstairs.

"What?!" He jolts up in bed next to me and now he hears it as well.

"Joel!" I rush from bed and Max is quick to follow. Hustling downstairs and into the study, we find him on the floor covered in sweat staggering backwards from us until he makes contact with the bookshelf. "Joel! Baby! It's alright! It's okay!"

I go to him, but he's still screaming and in full panic mode.

"Helen be careful." Max says as he breeches the room behind me and my Mum is lingering at the door half awake herself.

"Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!"

"Darling, stop, it's okay." I go to his side and as I touch his arm, he must actually wake up because he turns frantically and looks around panicked before throwing himself at me. He's soaked through his pajamas and he indeed wet himself. "I have you, Baby. I'm here."

Sniffling back tears and shaking horribly, Joel has finally stopped screaming, but his whole body is in fight or flight mode.

Looking at the clock on the wall, it's only 2:36.

"Max, could you get him some new clothes and clean the sofa- we had an accident." Nodding, he tiredly walks off and all I can do is rock him from side to side in my lap and kiss his head gently to calm him.

"I'll make him some ginger tea." My Mum says before leaving for the kitchen.

"Thank you, I'm sorry." I say quietly and he is still shaking horribly. "Shhh.....I have you."

"Alright, I started a bath for him." Max comes back in with the cleaning supplies and gets to work on the couch.

"Joel, can we stand up? I have to get you in the bath." He doesn't move. "Darling, I can't carry you."

He remains still.

"Max?"

"Okay." That's all he says before coming over and carefully picking up the boy out of my lap and carrying him to the bathroom for me. Standing up, I'm slightly covered in piss and sweat. Heading to the bathroom, I find Max getting Joel out of his dirty clothes and into the tub of warm bubbly water. "Go get your own shower. I got him."

"You sure?" I ask and he nods. "Alright. I'll be back."

....

After a quick shower and changing into new clothes, I head back down stairs and find Max, Joel, and my Mum all drinking tea and sitting at the kitchen table together.

"Couch is cleaned up." Max says before setting his cup down on the coaster.

"Thank you, did you need..."

"I already did." He states and I notice he is in new shorts already. Nodding, I grab a cup of ginger tea and sit beside Joel. Dark circles are under his eyes- even the bruised one is darkened from being overly tired.

"Joel? Baby? Are you alright?" I ask and he sadly looks at me before his little lip starts quivering.

"I'm sorry..." He cries and gets up- leaving for the study. I turn and watch him go and my heart hurts.

"Did he say anything to you?" I ask and Max shakes his head.

"Just apologized after the bath. Other than that he's been quiet."

Getting up, I go to the study and I feel a clinch in my chest.

"Joel? Baby, what are you doing?" I ask as I find him putting things— he previously had laid out on the coffee table- into his bag.