What We Deserve

Part 25: I Want You

I couldn't find the words I wanted too. And after a few minutes of staring at me waiting for an answer, he stood up and headed towards the kitchen to leave.

"You know, I know I'm usually the one who has a hard time speaking up...but I would have figured after two months away and after kissing you at the airport, you would have finally decided to stop pushing me away and finally let me in." He grumbles not so quietly under his breath. "Then again, I've been telling you since the beginning- the very beginning- how I feel about you, but I guess all of those times don't count, huh? No, why would they?"

Shaking my head, I try so hard to tell myself to stand up and speak- but my body fails me.

What is wrong with me?!

Am I really going to let him walk out the door after everything?!

Come on Jones! Get your arse up and go on an adventure!

As I hear him tugging on his shoes, I finally find my wits and strength. Setting my glass on the end table, I stand up and hurry to him. Going to grab his jacket, I stop him by grabbing his hand and put it on my slightly exposed chest just over my heart. His eyes widen and his anger slowly dissipates.

"I want you!" I blurt out and his eyes and body seem to melt slightly, his lips parting ever so at finally hearing me say it. "I...I want you, Max...I've...I've...it's always been you."

His cheeks pinken as he puts his free hand just under right ear and embraces my face.

"Well...I'm glad we're finally on the same page." I feel his hand on my heart, his fingers gently rubbing small circles on my smooth skin and yet his eyes never leave mine and I just keep both my hands on his.

"I'm sorry...it took me so long to...to say..." Tears spring to my eyes and his face softens even more. I'm overwhelmed. That's become a new normal since everything. My emotions always seem to be heightened now and at times- more than none- it's beyond frustrating.

"Helen...please don't cry." I release his hand and he wipes my tears that slightly begin to drip down my cheeks and he now cups my face in his hands, his fingers playing with the back of my neck and at the base of my hair. "It breaks my heart when you do."

Coming down to my level, he kisses my forehead and then wraps me in his arms. We sway slightly and some how, he has managed to get out of his shoes and before I can even pull away from him, he scoops me up like a child, and walks me back to my couch. Gently lying me against my large throw pills on my chaise, he grabs the blanket off the back of the couch and slides in next to me- covering us both with the fuzzy warm fleece before snuggling his face deeper into my neck. His arms are wrapped around my waist and his fingers play on my hips.

"Haha...what are we doing?" I ask coyly and he sighs and simply gets as close as possible to me.

"Snuggling..."

"Haha...that's what you want to do?" It's odd. I expected him to take me to my bedroom and have his way with me.

But I can't say I'm not enjoying this moment with him.

It's different.

Just being close to him in this manner.

"Hmhum." He confirms and I turn my face to look at him better.

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely." I can't stop smiling at this...this oddity that is Max Goodwin.

"Alright...I'm for it."

"Yeah?" He looks up at me and his one hand under the blanket, finds its way to just above my heart again. He runs his finger over my skin as if trying to memorize its feeling.