What We Deserve

Part 46: Wasabi Ice Cream

July 24th 2020

Laying in bed this morning- my body aching horribly as it has for a long time now- I stare at the ceiling and try to just calm my body.

Everything seems to be getting worse.

Gaines started me on Hormone replacements and frankly it's just making the entire situation worse.

She insisted that I need more estrogen now that I'm basically geriatric.

My daily intake of vitamins have been increased due to rapid depletion- which no one seems to understand as to what is causing this.

I'm constantly nauseous and tired and Mo has only been getting on my damn nerves.

It's not like I'm not taking my meds.

I most certainly am.

Everyday.

Twice a day.

But the neurologist here thinks it's just my body naturally becoming used to them- so they want to increase my dosage.

Which I refused, because that means it comes with worse side effects than I already am dealing with.

I've gained five more pounds since May- so that's bloody lovely and because of the hormone supplements- I've been having mood swings after mood swings and crying fits as well as over the top dramatic outbursts when taking phone calls with quite literally anyone who has an attitude.

Max has diligently been calling and I hate to say it's been both a blessing and a very big curse.

He hasn't let up once with his antics- now sending me constant pictures and websites of houses he thinks I'll like.

I do like them.

But if he could just bloody pick one- it would be much nicer and more appreciated.

A knock comes to my door and I groan- hoping if I just lay here- whomever it is will just go away.

Knock knock knock!

"Grrrr!" I growl as I get up and out of bed and make my way to the front door. I want to flip and yell that there's no sensible reason to bother me at 2:30 in the afternoon on a Saturday.

There isn't.

"Hello?" I begin to growl until I find Max and Luna on the other side of the door with one travel size suitcase.

"Hey...Baby...everything okay?" He asks concerned.

Probably for his life.

"I'm great." I feign and let them in. "Let me see my munchkin!"

She reaches for me and I hold her close.

"I!" She quietly says and holds up her hole hand- fingers spread wide.

"Hi! You learned hi? How come I'm only hearing it now?" I ask, becoming slightly upset and Max shuts the door, locks it and give me a small smile.

"Been very busy getting everything ready for the trip. Say hi Mumma!" He says to Luna and she waves again.

"I Mumma."

"Hi! I've missed you so much...you have gotten so big."

"20 pounds now. We're still in the 5th percentile for our age- but we're getting there. Aren't we Lu?"

"Uh-oh..." She says before giving me an open mouth kiss.

"Oh my sweet girl. I've missed you so much." I cry slightly and Max just looks at me oddly.