𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗖𝗘-ᵗʷⁱˡⁱᵍʰᵗ¹

twenty

TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS & ACTIONS

Sometimes the darkness is all you crave. It lingers in the back of your mind, calls for you— begging you to just enter in, promising that it will wrap a blanket around your cold frail body. It becomes a safe haven, a comforting thought. The reminder of just how easily you could return to the earth, become food for the worms, trees, and grass.

***

Sage's room was dark, only faint sunlight pushing through the clouds, trees, and her curtains. She heard everyone moving around downstairs doing who knows what— yet she couldn't tear her dew stained eyes away from the little orange bottle as a half written journal entry sat beside her. She stared into the filled bottle, aware of just how many pills were in it and just how many it would take.

good days never last long

She counted the amount of times she took shaky breaths, the amount of footsteps she heard, and the amount of pink stars on her ceiling. She counted anything and everything, trying to conjure the strength, trying to desperately go against her natural instincts. She gently shook the bottle, ensuring no small white pill fell out. Her body was already numb, already dead. Her headboard was her tombstone and her bed was her casket.

Her eyes flicker to the wall of childhood memories, rare glimmers of happiness for doomed minds. Sage is convinced that no matter who she was born— she'd still be the same nuisance she was now. She took up space she shouldn't, infiltrated homes she didn't belong in, dragged everyone around her down into the ground just so she wouldn't be alone. At the sound of the back door closing she took a deep breathe and knocked back the bottle, allowing the darkness to take over her mind.

***

persistent high pitched beeping, bright lights, lowered voices. Sage was positive she'd ended up in hell. The light pushed through her closed lids, begging for them to lift up as she squeezed them closed even move, allowing the phosphenes to show.

green, red, blue, purple.

"Sage?" the voice was muffled, and she couldn't make out its tone or the owner as she squeezed her eyes even tighter. Her throat itched and burned, her stomach felt as though multiple holes had been burned through it, she could feel every organ in her body... not to mention the huge migraine.

"Sage, you gotta open your eyes man." the voice sounded slightly clearer, young, tired, stressed, and worried. She felt a hand grab her left one and slowly loosened her eye muscles, almost immediately tightening them once the light met her pupils with fury.

"is this hell?" She heard the boy next to her laugh lightly, as if her voice was his favorite song and he'd been deprived of it for years.

"Basically, i mean it is a hospital after all." Sage groaned as she opened her eyes, disappointment and regret flooding her system. She harshly blinked a few times as she noticed the group of people staring at her. Her cheeks puffed out lightly as she turned to the boy beside her.

"Aren't you just a doting father, Bry."

"You're an asshole."

"I'm quite literally in a hospital bed and thats how you're gonna speak to me?"

"I should ground you until the day you die."

"Do it I dare you." The two paused before bursting into light giggles, only to stop when the doctor rushed in.

"Ms. Uley, welcome back to the land of the living." The doctor smiled at her as he glanced around at the room's other occupants. "I'd love it if you guys could clear out for a second so I could ask her a few questions. They may be a little uncomfortable for all of you."