TRAITOR - woosan

25. anchor

San

The past two weeks felt like complete hell. 

I had a lot of things on my mind, a lot of exams to study for and no one to rely on. I was not even allowed to swim; the only thing that I was good at. Seonghwa thought it was better for me to rest after my accident. I guess the captain already made up his mind about the competition, that I will not compete with them. 

I did try to stay positive as I went to encourage them for the first week. But after that, I stopped attending the pool meetings. It felt so useless to look at them swimming while I had to stick to the bench. I must admit that it was the right thing to do to secure the team a podium. They had a better chance of winning without me swimming. And that is what hurt the most.

I tried to talk to Mingi about it but he was too occupied training or hanging out with Yunho, one of the swimmers. They seemed to have become the best of friends in two seconds and I am a little jealous about it. Mingi would rather eat lunch with him than spend time with me as usual. It felt odd, completely odd...

I was so lost that at one point I even wondered why I left Liza. 

But that would be unfair. It was my decision after all. I ended our relationship because it was the right thing to do. She lied to me so many times and I could not trust her anymore. So why do I feel like I completely mess up?

Maybe I was only experiencing a lot of changes. I simply needed someone to talk to, who would listen to me no matter what. This person used to be Wooyoung, but even he was avoiding me.

One morning while I was heading to my Economics class, I saw a familiar silhouette walking in front of me. His short black hair and oversized t-shirt made him look way younger than he actually was. 

Wooyoung stopped for a second to speak to the guy in my English class, Yeosang I think. They seemed to have a lot to talk about so I was waiting for them to finish their conversation and at some point, they waved to each other goodbye and go their separate ways. When he was finally gone I decided to follow Wooyoung. It was my only chance to fix things between us. 

So I started walking a little faster trying to match his rhythm. He was going way faster than me, almost like he was feeling my presence. I continue to walk trying to win some time to figure out what I would eventually say to him. 

I guess one thing I could tell him is that I am sorry for everything, that he was a really important friend to me, and that I... I saw him as more than just a friend and... What. Wait I can not say that, it does not make any sense. 

My thought process gets interrupted when I see Wooyoung changing his pathway and walking toward a new classroom. 

Screw this. Just say something. 

"Can we talk for a second?" I finally asked him while we were reaching the end of the corridor. Wooyoung's body tensed like his whole being just stopped simply by hearing my voice calling for him.

"You said we should not talk to each other," Wooyoung says without turning around so he could not faced me. Only by looking at his back, I could sense his jaw clenching at my words and see how his hands turn into fists. Am I making him angry?

"I know... I..." I stutter not knowing what I should say to make him less angry. I simply want to erase all the things I said to him, and from how he reacted it won't be so easy. 

"San, I don't have time for your little games, I have a class to attend to." And like that Wooyoung entered the classroom without even looking in my direction once. 

I know I deserved all that and I can not help but feel upset. I made a step forward but he made three steps back. I just wanted to explain to him that I was confused and that is why I said horrible things to him. 

I know I can not erase everything but I wanted to give us another chance.

I chased this memory of Wooyoung out of my mind so I could focus on the current situation, the swimming competition. Mingi just entered the changing room saying that he needed me. I do not quite understand what happened, they had all their swimmers thirty minutes ago. 

"Seonghwa can't make it, we need you," my friend announced almost reading my thoughts.

I start picking up all my stuff in my locker. "What?" I let out so surprised that I stopped moving. Mingi joins me to accelerate the process knowing that I tend to slow down when I am trying to understand. 

"Wasn't he supposed to be the anchor?" I add confused, looking for an answer. The anchor is supposed to be the best and fastest swimmer to swim last and increase our chance of winning. It is usually in the hands of all the captains of each team to conclude the last discipline of the meeting, the relay race. 

"San you're the anchor now," Mingi says as he starts running towards the exit. I feel my heartbeat accelerating, hearing my pulse getting loud in my head. He then takes my hand to make sure I am following him and I start running behind Mingi unsure. 

Me, the anchor. It means having the victory of my teammates in my hands. Can I really do it? "But I..." I start saying but my friend cuts me off and stops to look at me in the eyes. "I know you can do it," he encourages me with a big smile. 

I know he really meant that and I can't help but smile in return. "Thank you, but..." I start again.

"No arguing now, we don't have much time left," Mingi's voice adds while dragging me out of the changing room. "Remove your clothes and get ready to dive in." He finally says before we are filled by the crowd noises. 

I look around and spot my team in corridor five. Seeing their wet and sweaty faces screaming encouraging words at Bang Chan in the water motivated me even more. All I can think about now is to win this race. It is my only chance to prove myself to the team, I really don't want to blow things up.

"San!" I hear a voice behind me. 

I could recognize this voice out of a million so I turn around to see a familiar face.

"Wooyoung?" I say incredulously looking into his brown, almost black eyes. What was he doing in the changing room?

"You can win this, I know it." He simply adds with so much apprehension in his sight. These simple words made their way directly to my heart, and all the pressure I had on my shoulder went away. 

I nod with a shy smile before joining my teammates next to the pool. I notice the crowd cheering loudly for us.

"It's your turn San," Lee Know says as I approach the water. I immediatly focus, put my glasses on and as I hear the signal I plunge in the pool to win this competition.