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I keep having the feeling that I will eventually suffer from all this, but I can't help wanting to be close to him.
San
San
I can't believe I am in Wooyoung's room right now. I kept telling him that we should make room apart tonight, but he wouldn't listen to me. He is so stubborn sometimes that it feels like there is no right answer other than yes.
Wooyoung has this emprise on me. Whenever he is around I tend to forget how to behave. I am sure he could make me forget my name if he wants to.
I even ended up begging for him to suck me off in my damn car. I am already so weak for him it hurts.
I sigh. Maybe I am just finding excuses because I did not want to leave him either.
I look in the younger's direction and see him moving closer to me on the bed so that our knees touch. I meet Wooyoung's eyes for the first time since the 'car incident' and I can see pain in them. I can tell he is not feeling alright.
How come I did not see it before?
He was so initiative in the car earlier that it almost felt like he was a completely different person. A more dominant and confident version of Wooyoung.
Maybe I was too focused on myself to realize that the man sitting next to me was going through bigger stuff than I thought. My mind wanted me to think everything was okay and that we were on the same track. Was I wrong about that?
I notice his hands trembling before hiding them in his pockets. The younger is now avoiding my eyes worrying me even more. I really wish he could tell me everything without any fear so he would be free from all his torments.
We both know that we need time to think about what we really want. If he keeps lying to me I don't know how this could work. We are a team and I should have made my point earlier on, but here I am, sitting on his bed deliberately.
Why do I keep agreeing with anything he says?
I sigh while running one hand through my black hair. I really thought that things were going to be less complicated between us since we were once best friends. Communication was never an issue for Wooyoung and me. But I guess I was wrong about that too.
Wooyoung has kept hiding stuff from me since the day we met again at the party. He probably needs time, but I just hope he is not playing with me. That would break me.
