TRAITOR - woosan

12. hickeys

Wooyoung (the next day)

I slightly open my eyes and stretch out on the bed. I am so tired and my mouth feels pasty from last night. I look to the right to see the time on my alarm, but there is no clock on the small table like there usually is. I sit up and look around confused, it's not my room. Who's room is this? I manage to see the different furniture in the bedroom, but it's still so dark in there; I can't identify the place.

"Where am I?" I whisper to myself, concerned. What happened to me last night? Did I go into a bar and got drunk so badly again? I hope not. I usually enjoy doing 'one nights' but not when I'm too drunk to even remember the guy's name, it's not so worth it.

Before I could remember anything, I am yawning and moving from the bed sheet when my condition hits me: I'm shirtless... That confirms the worst. Let's not panic. Maybe I'm not in some stranger's bed. There could be another explanation. There should be.

I stand up and decide to walk out of the room to get answers to my interrogations. On my way out, I trip over someone's jacket. I take the piece of clothing up, it must belong to my 'date', and decide to wear it to cover myself. His perfume instantly fills my nostrils when the black leather hits my smooth skin.

San.

Wait. This can be...

I rush out of the room to confirm my thoughts and as soon as I step out I recognize the environment: Seonghwa's house. Then everything comes back to my mind.

The party.

***

I sense Hongjoong heavy breath on my neck, making me shiver slightly. I hope he is not leaving too many marks on me- I already have a full "collection". I decide to keep it quiet nonetheless, I just wanted to have fun tonight and it has been the opposite ever since I arrived. Well... until now.

I followed Hongjoong up the stairs earlier to confront him about Yunho's sexuality. But now that the message is passed, I just can't stop thinking that we're in this small bedroom with no one else to see what we can do. I need this to forget about him.

Hongjoong gets rid of my-San's jacket pretty fast. Good thing I don't smell his perfume while having fun with the red-haired. Why does San have to smell this good though?

Wait. What am I saying? Put yourself together Wooyoung.

"You're so hard already," I whisper in Hongjoong's ear to re-focus on the present and forget about San' sent.

Having my hips in his hands and making sure to keep a constant friction between our sensitive points makes me roll my eyes in delight. I just want to take him right there on this bed.

This will make me feel better. It should be.

"You too," Hongjoong answers with a smirk.

I don't care how I look right now. I'm letting myself be all sweaty, short of breath, with messy hair, dark eyes, and an exposed chest... because I don't care about Hongjoong's opinion. The truth is I've never felt vulnerable while having sex with someone, I always feel indifferently excited.

But somehow tonight, the kisses don't taste as good as they usually do. Am I doing it wrong?

I close my eyes to be able to concentrate on the movement of my mouth. I try to increase the pleasure without much success. I decide to think of something sexy but the only thing that comes to mind is an image of San. I find myself heating up without understanding any of it. I have no control over myself right now. I hate it. I need to chase San's body out of my head but a groan escaping Hongjoong's lips keeps me away from that. His reaction leaves me perplexed. I open my eyes and- Oh... My erection is growing so fast against his.

What the fuck Woo... Am I really getting excited by thinking of San?

I sigh. I was too happy that this would help me forget about my problems. But now... I'm not sure anymore, it's not working like it usually does. I keep thinking of him.

I keep wanting him.

"We should stop," I let go, panting.

All the signs are aligned, telling me to stop.

"Only if you step back, I'll stop," Hongjoong whispered annoyingly.

I know he would hate it if I change my mind now. So I continue to embrace his body, contradicting my words. Hongjoong really wants to do this, I can sense his lips searching for mine whenever they are apart. He is loving it and I feel like I'm taking advantage of someone to feel better.

I don't know what I want, I can't think properly.

I open my eyes between two frenches to get some air and Hongjoong does the same still embracing my body. We stare into each other's eyes for a small instant before connecting our lips again. 

I close my eyes and start to kiss Hongjoong harder on his red lips. I press our bodies more harshly against the wall to feel him more. I just want to forget about him, just want to forget. Why can't I forget?

Hongjoong responds to every one of my moves in surprise and excitement. We continue to kiss intensely and caress each other seductively. Well, I try to.

I finally bring him by the waist closer to the bed next to us but Hongjoong stops me before I could push him onto the bed sheet.

"I'm... I'm gonna go," Hongjoong concludes, breaking the kiss.

I look at him confused. I thought I was the one not feeling it but was he too?

"I can't enjoy it alone Woo, you keep whispering someone's name without even noticing it," Hongjoong says stepping back.

I look at him speechless.

"San. Is that another Yunho?" He adds looking a little hurt.

What?

"I... I'm sorry." I simply say not knowing what to answer.

I can't believe I said San's name over and over again. I thought the voice was simply echoing in my head. Seeing Hongjoong step away from me makes me feel bad. I mess up. I try to reach for his hands to get him to stay but for what? I don't know what I want anymore.

Maybe I just don't want to feel alone again.

Hongjoong gets to the door before I could convince him otherwise. If I was able to say something else, he would know I was lying. He just knows.

I stand for a second realizing I am now alone with my thoughts. I feel the coldness hitting my skin again, but heavier than before in the bathroom- because San was there...

I lean in bed and without noticing it, I fall asleep tearing up.