"The more I swear I'm happy, the more that I'm feeling alone." - Rihanna
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Spring
I can't believe it's already been three month since Daisy and I got together. Three months since we had that dinner at her house with her parents.
The first month was probation for me.
Her parents kept an eye on us. I got to pick her up from school and took her straight home. Sometimes we were able to get some food before I had to drop her off. And Thursdays through Sunday we get to hang out together.
I even like to include her sister in some of the things we do. Daisy secretly loves that too even though she doesn't always say it. But I see how much she enjoys to have her sister interact with me.
Especially since she's the only one from her family that actually likes me. Daisy's mom, well needless to say that she doesn't like me one bit. She's never flat out said it to my face but I know. Now her dad... I feel like he's conflicted about it. You can genuinely tell that his girls are his world and he'd do anything for them. And though he likes how good I am to his daughter and that I make her happy and I respect all their rules he knows that I'm not good enough for Daisy.
Which leads me to where we are right now...
Daisy is participating in a Spring debutant ball. Never in my life did I think I would have to say those words and here I am. And I know that this isn't her choice, her mom is making her do it. It's part of their society circle or whatever. However she asked if I wanted to be her escort for the night.
The look on her face when she noticed that I was going to say no is what actually made me accept.
Now I fucking regret it.
This just isn't my scene. I don't like doing none of these things. It hurts me to even think it, let alone to say the words out loud: Daisy and I just don't go together. She's too good for me. I will never have what she has.
"Will you stop moving." Miguel says, taking me from my thoughts.
"Oh sorry." I say to him and the nice man who's taking my measurements for a tux.
Miguel's dad quickly offered to help me get the tux that was needed. I quickly said no but both his parents insisted. Plus Miguel was all guilt tripping me that his parents would feel bad if they couldn't do this for me.
But then I feel like shit cause they already do a lot for me.
Like buying Miguel a brand new phone just so he could give me the one he was using cause they knew I would never accept a brand new iPhone from them.
Finally the older man finishes up with my measurements and I step down to grab my hoodie.
"What's going on with you?" Miguel comes over to me with a worry look.
I sigh. "This is just too much. Your parents are always gifting things to me and I can't—"
"They wanted to help you out with this. It's not like you ask them for money or stuff." Miguel interrupts.
Technically, he's right. I've never asked any of them for money. But I still feel like a charity case and I know they mean well. But it doesn't make it feel any less like I'm a burden.
"That's not the point." I say.
"They wanted—want to adopt you but you refused." Miguel quickly says. "From the moment they knew you and your situation my parents wanted to take that responsibility with you."
"Because I couldn't leave my sister."
Which is also very true. My sister is what made me stay but then also just my mom. What kind of a son would I be if I just abandoned my mom?
Sure she has her flaws and she's a drunk but there's a few moments when she's herself and she sees me. I have hope that she will get better.
Miguel nods. I can tell he wants to say more but he just stays quiet instead. "Even my mom, I can't leave her." I whisper.
"I get you. But it doesn't hurt you to let my parents help you out here and there. We love to do that."
Nodding, I smile at him.
"Boys," Miguel's dad says. "He will call me when the tuxes are ready and we can come try them on."
We leave from the tux place and go grab some food. I listen to Miguel and his dad talk about football and only pretend to act interested. But my mind is far from it. I can't think about anything else except that I hate my life.
And not because we don't have money. I could care less about that. I would love to have a father like this who genuinely cares about me and my interests. A mom who loves me too much and overreacts about everything, one that will suffocate me with affection.
Miguel is so lucky.
And for once in my life I feel a little envious of my best friend.
I hope he cherishes his parents always. Even when they get on his nerves.
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