Bad For You (on going)

prologue

"you're everywhere. except right here.
and it hurts."

Past

Light gray walls, mixed matching couches and the smell of lemon is what I've had to endure every Tuesday and Friday for the past two months. Not to mention the annoying sound of my therapists voice: Dr. Serena Wyatt.

I'm not saying she's a bad person but she's also not a very good one, knowing what my mom has done and continues to do.

A good person would've spoken out and said something.

Instead she plays along with this bullshit she calls therapy and insists on trying to connect with me so I will finally crack and open up. Just so she can turn around and tell my mother everything.

"Mrs. Kilmer tells me your doing great in her class. You've been writing a lot. Do you want to talk about your poems?" Dr. Wyatt asks and I remain silent. She sighs when my full attention remains staring at the window. "Daisy we do this every time. You keep telling that you're tired of being here but it doesn't seem that way to me."

I turn to face her. "You're so fucking fake." I snap at her but remain calm. "You and I both know that there's nothing wrong with me. This is just one of my mothers tactics to keep full control of me."

Of course she remains extra calm. Nothing I say affects her. I'm just another crazy patient she has to deal with snapping at her.

"So you don't think there's anything wrong with you after what happened?" She pushes.

I give her a stern look. "I'm not fucking broken." But I am. "That's how life works. I'm not the first to lose someone and I won't be the last Dr. Wyatt. Death happens."

She nods in agreement. "That's very true. But not everyone deals with grief the same. You for instant, hit very severe depression that led to—"

"That's bullshit!" This time I raise my voice. Once again she remains calm. I wanna punch her. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you... I never tried to hurt myself! Ever!" I squeeze my fist tighter. "Let's stop playing games. You know damn well know that I never tried to kill myself. My mom is a manipulative and controlling bitch who lied about her own daughter just to lock me up in this school with no connection to the world." I tear falls down my face.

When I found out that Alex died, I lost my shit. I mean obviously he was my boyfriend and I was in love. My mom always hated him. She would say that he wasn't good enough for me. It killed me to know that I wasn't able to attend his service, that I couldn't say my last goodbye to him. So when I snuck out she retaliated in the worst possible way.

This time Dr. Wyatt nods in agreement. Her expression shows remorse. "Fine. Then you tell me what happened." She closes her notebook and sets it to the side. Giving me her full attention. "Tell me about Alex, Daisy."

I'm not sure if this is a therapist trap or if she actually feels bad for me because she knows how full of shit my mom is but for the first time I actually wanna share with her. This is the first time that she calls him by name.

Another tear falls down my cheek. "Alex was my boyfriend. And I loved him. And he died." I let out a breath, I hadn't even realized that I was holding in. "But that's not what broke me. All I wanted was to go say goodbye. I deserved it and he did too! My mother took that from me. I was aloud to grieve in my own way and take my time. But she took that from me too and when she couldn't handle me anymore she drugged me and said that I was trying to hurt myself."

The memories come crashing back and I feel all that anger coursing through me. I'm stuck in this boarding school in Spain, with zero contact with the outside world. Only people I get to talk to are my parents—well my dad because I don't want shit to do with my mom. She even keeps me from my sister.

"Why do you say that your mom did it? Why not your dad or sister?" Dr. Wyatt asks the million dollar question.

I smile. "Because I watched her do it Dr. My mother found out that her sixteen year old daughter was pregnant and snapped." I confess.

Hello!! ☺️☺️☺️ I'm so happy to be starting this story finally!!!! Life has been crazy, which is why I still have not been able to finish Belong To You. I'm definitely trying to get that done already because I'm eager for this one LOL! But yeah, I'm sorry for taking so long & THANK YOU to everyone who's been with me & keeping up with me since All Of You! It means so much. I hope that you're all ready to dive in to Daisy & Noah's story & that you stay for the journey. ♡

- Cyn