On the Sidelines

Chapter 18 Evie

Is it too soon to say that I love this man? Because I do, with everything I have.

He's proven far more times than I wish to count that he wants me, no matter what the future may hold. He's heard the horrors of my past and grew angry on my behalf. He's housed me when said past has clashed with the present and again when a deranged man has threatened my safety.

I've come to terms with the depth of my feelings over the last few days. We have almost a month left in this semester and the longer I take these classes, the less I care about them. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, the only thing I'm good at that could possibly become a career is writing but that comes with its own challenges.

I'm still trying to write a short book instead of stories and I think I'm almost halfway done. I'm ten chapters in but my audience on the writing app I use is getting restless.

I've had people privately message me asking why I haven't posted in two weeks and I feel bad that this is taking me so long. I know I have no reason to feel this way but it doesn't change the fact that I do.

I folded and posted the rough draft of a story I was working on just to get something out there. I posted it as a free story and asked for readers' opinions on where this story should go. That was this morning.

It's currently Monday, the start of spring break despite snow still resting on the ground.

Tanner has a game tonight that I'm going to with Sasha and Alyssa. Three days ago Sasha showed up at the house asking if she could stay here.

Jasper had somehow gotten a key to their room and was waiting for Alyssa inside. But Sasha was the one to enter not Al. She hasn't told anyone what happened between them but whatever it was was enough for her to show up shaken and terrified.

Sean and Collins have been good sports about the whole thing. Alyssa feels horrible about living in their space but they keep assuring her that it's not a big deal.

These men have such big hearts it's unreal how lucky I got.

On the topic of luck, I definitely feel it when I turn over in bed and cuddle into Tanner. He's sound asleep and an idea blossoms in my head.

When he mentioned it he was joking, well he said he was half joking. The other day he said if I ever wanted to wake him up with a blowjob he wouldn't complain. I haven't done anything sexual that I actually wanted to do in years. But for the first time in a long time, I want to.

With shaky confidence, I slowly peel the comforter off of us as I situate myself between his legs. He's wearing a pair of sweats which do nothing to hide his morning wood.

I've never seen his size, nor have I felt it so I have no idea what to expect when I pull his pants down.

I laugh to myself when I learn he's decided to forgo boxers. That laugh dies quickly though when his length comes into view.

He's big.

Like really big.

Insanely big.

There's no way that will ever fit in me. And yet, I still want to try. I glance up to see he's still asleep, or he's really good at pretending.

Steeling my nerves I take a deep breath and go for it.

I grip his base loosely, my fingers almost closing around him. I lower my head until it's right there. Oh God, it's really big.

My tongue pokes out to taste him. He's salty but surprisingly good. I taste him again until I lick him like a lollipop. I hear his intake of breath when I put my mouth around him and suck down.