On the Sidelines

Chapter 35 Evie

The morning went by in a blur of color, makeup, and anxiety. I woke up at three am unable to fall back asleep. I tried taking a bath, didn't help. Hot cup of milk, didn't help. Reading a book in dim lighting, didn't help.

Tanner was able to sleep until five when my antics woke him up. He offered sex as a way to sleep better, I declined. It was far too early to even think about getting naked with him. Though under different circumstances, I wouldn't have hesitated. I love getting Tanner naked.

Needing something to do to keep my mind occupied, I started packing. I need to get most of it done by Monday so Tanner can take my things with him to his, now our, apartment. The plan was to pack as much as we can and stuff it into his truck, which should be most of my belongings. Whatever doesn't fit would fit into my jeep. All of the big-ticket items like my bed frame and dresser will be donated since I helped him decorate when he moved into this apartment. There isn't much room for extra furniture, so I won't be taking them.

At eight Nate and Mona arrived and the five of us kicked Tanner out of the room so we could get ready. It's a little past noon now, I'm on my fourth cup of coffee and the jitters have set in. Graduation starts at three, we have to be at the venue at two and the planes carrying my friends and family won't land for another hour.

Moms plane lands first at one. Sean and Oli are on the same plane that's supposed to lands at one fifteen. While Dillan and Collins plane is set to land closer to one forty-five. The airport is only twenty minutes from the venue so as long as the planes land around the scheduled time, they should be on time.

There's one hundred and sixty of us graduating today so it should go by relatively quickly. I think they estimated two to three hours.

Mona comes to stand behind me, both of us looking in my mirror. "You okay?" Her hands run my arms where goose bumps have popped up.

My eyes take in my appearance, long perfectly curled hair with a small bun at the crown of my head that took an hour and a half. Peachy eyeshadow with a glittery white on my eyelids that makes my brown eyes pop. Fake eyelashes that Nate helped me put on. A light blush to bring color back into my face. Bright red lipstick that matches the strawberries in my dress. Dimond encrusted gold earrings dangle from my ears, a gift from Tanner for Christmas last year. A matching necklace sits delicately on my pale skin. A pure gold bracelet in on my right wrist, a gift for our one year anniversary. My shoes sit in front of the mirror, stiletto heals about four inches, black with fake gems that wrap around my legs in thin straps.

I look the part of someone whose ready to take the next step. But I don't feel like it.

"I don't know Mona." I sigh as I fiddle with my bracelet. "These last four year went nothing like how I wanted them to. It's just hard to look back and realize how little control I truly had over different outcomes." I turn my head to face her head on.

"Do you regret how things turned out?"

I shake my head as I look at my friends, new and old. "No, I don't know how I know but I can tell I'm exactly where I'm meant to be. With whom I'm meant to be with. I wouldn't go back and change anything. I think that's the hardest thing to come to terms with. I went into my freshman year swearing off any and all distractions only to come face to face with my biggest one on the first night. I tried to stay away but the longer I tried, the harder it became. Rumors spread about how Tanner no longer went to parties. He stopped being seen hanging out with random girls while they hung all over him. He was heard talking about this girl that he couldn't take his eyes off of. Then there was him. His insistence, never giving up no matter what I said.

"If I told him to go away, he would. But he'd be back a few days later trying again. He changed his whole lifestyle just to guarantee I wouldn't immediately write him off. Anytime I saw a girl hanging off of him he was always trying to get them to leave him alone. From day one he knew what he wanted, and he didn't stop until he had that, had me. I've never been so happy, felt so loved. That man has taken my world and turned it on its head and I couldn't care less.