On the Sidelines

Chapter 25 Tanner

The day becomes marginally better as it wears on. My mood hasn't improved but can you blame me? The audacity of that man!

We toured the second apartment; it was the first one I showed Evie. It was just as nice in person and the building manager was much nicer. Evie had relaxed by the time we went into the building and even struck up a conversation with him.

He told her about his wife and kids while we looked around the small apartment. It's definitely a contender.

"Tanner?" I look to my right where Evie's waiting by my truck door.

"Sorry." I open it and help her up. She watches me curiously as I round the hood and take my seat behind the wheel.

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem a little distracted." Well, I haven't tried to hide it. I can't get that interaction out of my mind. What he did doesn't piss me off as much as my clueless ass two feet away does.

My girl was being hit on and was forced to sit still while she was incredibly uncomfortable, and I didn't even realize. I saw some of his looks, but I figured they'd go no further. Obviously, I was mistaken.

"Not really." She watches me as I pull out into traffic.

"I get that it upsets you, but you can't let one interaction ruin your entire day." I grumble a little but thankfully she doesn't chastise me for it. "When we get back to the hotel why don't we go down to the restaurant and have a nice meal?"

"Okay." When I don't offer anymore Evie sighs and turns the radio on. She clicks a few things on her phone and the cab is filled with Indie Rock. It takes us twenty minutes to get back to the hotel and she's quiet the entire time. I upset her; I know I did. She doesn't like it when I'm quietly seething. She's told me it's better to express my emotions and I know it is, but I don't think she wants to know the things I want to do to that man. The blinding rage I felt when I found out he disrespected her. I wanted to go back inside and break his hand so he couldn't put it on her again without her consent.

Evie doesn't like violence, so I'm trying to save her from my less than kind thoughts. What I failed to realize is that in the ride back she's been stewing in her own thoughts and now she's not just upset, she's pissed.

She doesn't wait for me to open her door; she's jumping out the moment the trucks in park. She ignores me the entire ride up to the room. She tries to slam the door in my face, but I catch it before it closes.

"Baby? I'm sorry, okay. I know you don't like it when I bottle up and don't tell you what I'm feeling." She whips around, brown eyes ablaze.

"If you know that then why do you continue to do it!" She storms up to me, stopping mere inches from my face. "This, us," she motions to the space between us, "won't work if you don't talk to me."

Shame settles in my stomach. "I know." My voice is barely above a whisper.

Her eyes soften and she places a calming hand on my check. "I'm not mad that you feel things, Tanner. I'm mad that you don't trust me enough to tell what those things are."

My gaze lifts to her as I struggle for words. "I trust you; I do."

"Really? Because when you do this, hide away. It sure doesn't feel like trust, it feels like running, like hiding."

I shake my head as much as her hand on my check allows. "That's not it. I promise that's not the reason. The thoughts I'm having, I know you won't like, you won't approve of."

"Just because I might not like them doesn't mean I don't want to hear them. I want every part of you, even the not so pretty parts. You're mine and I'm yours. All of our nice and mean, pretty and ugly, clam and violent parts. Don't hide those thoughts from me when they help me understand where your head is at. Those thoughts help me know you better. When I know what makes you tick, I know you as you. We become one person, not separate beings."