((We love some good ol fashion boy love👀🥴))
Sanzu and Hanma stumble in from a night of drinking. Bumping into walls and tripping over themselves, they had both decided to sneak home early for a nightcap with Lani.
Knocking pictures off of the wall and so many other things, they ran into each other in the kitchen. It was a blessing that no one else was home. Between slamming doors, loud footsteps, and their yelling, it's a miracle they hadn't woken the dead.
"Bro, what the fuck are you doing here?"
"I live here!!!" Hanma grabs the door of the fridge, snatching it open to the sound of clinking condiment bottles. "The fuck you doin' here?"
Hanma bends to grab a whole rotisserie chicken and a bottle of sriracha from the refrigerator. The plate clanks on the table as he snatches a wing off the bird smothering it in chili sauce before taking a bite.
"So you just .......aren't gon' warm it up?" He scrunched his face, staring at him in disapprobation. "You just gon' eat it cold."
"I put hot sauce on it!" He slurs, spewing flecks of poultry onto Sanzu's shirt. He took another bite of the wing pleased with himself. He smacked loudly, grinning ear to ear.
"You llama neck, alpaca built bitch!! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Disgusted, he tried to rush Hanma. But he loses his balance and trips. Sanzu's abdomen collided with the counter, knocking over the dish. Sanzu twisted and groaned sliding to the floor.
The plate crashed, loudly, shattering into thousands of blue and white pieces on the floor. Hanma gasped, watching the chicken pick up fuzzy gray fibers as it tumbled across the living room carpet.
"MY CHICKEN!!!" He grimaced, stamping his foot in frustration. Squatting over the broken plate with his arms stretched out in dismay.
He slapped both hands on top of his head, darting his eyes back and forth between the chicken and Sanzu. He was distraught. He looked like a kid who had dropped his ice cream in the dirt after the first lick.
"What the fuck Pinky pie?!?!!" Motioning towards the chicken. "What the fuck am I supposed to eat now. I'M HUNGRY!!!"
"Ah— Fuck you and that chicken." He said in a crackling voice. "Ah— ssss." He winced, holding his side as he pushed himself up from the counter. "Clean that shit up!" He turned and faced the stairs but stopped at the island, holding his side. "And hurry up. It needs to be up before Lani and I wake up."
"Wait what the fuck did you say?" He belches. "Lani is waking up with me. She likes me better anyway."
"Pffft....The day I let a 6-foot toboggan take my bitch, I'm killing myself. Pencil neck bitch." He watches as Hanma gathers the chicken and tosses it in the trash. "It doesn't matter anyway, you're dick so little you piss on your balls, pussy boy. Let a real man take care of Lani."
"You might as well go ahead and plan that funeral then punk. You may have hit once but Lani's sharpened this pencil more times than I can count and I know for a fact she ain't stopping no time soon." He pushed passed Sanzu and walked to the sink to wash his hands.
Sanzu scoffs. "You ever heard of quality over quantity, lanky boy?" He lights a cigarette, taking a quick drag before speaking again.
"That one time changed her life, little foot..... You made her squirt yet?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?!"
"You didn't answer my question!!!!" Sanzu limps over to him, pointing a finger in Hanma's face. "It doesn't even matter. You ain't fucking nothing anyway with that little ass dick. Shrimpity Mc shrimp shrimp!!!!"
YOU ARE READING
Trouble in paradise (official)
Fanfiction"In a twist of fate, two ordinary girls find themselves transported to the perilous world of Tokyo Revengers , a high-stakes anime adventure that defies imagination. After an impulsive purchase of a mysterious mirror from an antique shop, their live...
