Infinitely

Charlotte, you're not alone

Justin doesn't come back that night or the next morning. I eventually calm down and manage to sleep but when Justin won't answer his phone in the morning I start to panic again.

Now that I've had time to sleep I can't believe how stupid I feel. Yesterday should have been a perfect day but I had to go and ruin it. And now I don't know where Justin is or when he'll be back. Is he even coming back?

I drag myself out of bed and use the bathroom. At some point the movers are supposed to come back to finish installing our furniture and I want to be ready. Most of my clothes must still be downstairs and I'm wondering if I have time to run down and get dressed when I hear the doorbell.

I throw on a dress and don't bother looking at myself in the mirror before I go down to see who's here. For a second I start to panic thinking about being in the house alone with all the movers but I force it back. I have to do this.

"I heard you didn't have any food in- oh, holy fuck you're really pregnant," Selena gasps when I open the door.

"I'm so glad you're here," I burst into tears. This is getting really, really old.

"Oh, okay," Selena takes a deep breath and sets the big bag and coffees she was carrying down on nearby box. She wraps her arms around me and it's all I can do to hug her back. "Hope was just like this too, I would ask her a question and she would just sob."

"I'm so stupid," I sob. I knew my hormones would be out of control because I was pregnant but now I realize they're part of the reason I completely fell apart yesterday.

"No, sweetie," Selena rubs my back. "Let's go eat and you can tell me everything."

"Okay," I nod and we go into the kitchen. There's no space in there so I take Selena into the family room because at least we can sit on the couch and eat off the moving boxes.

"So I know you don't get online much, but you should know Justin stayed with me last night," Selena says. "Josh was there the whole time, you just can't see his car because the paparazzi took all their pictures so his car would be hidden."

"Oh no," I feel like crying again but I just managed to stop.

"Don't get upset," Selena holds up her hands like that will work. "Here's what you have to remember about the fans and the media and everything," she takes a deep breath. "As much as it sucks right now, you have the advantage. Maybe everyone gets upset right now but you will be with Justin no matter what. You're going to be here making him happy, having his babies, spending the rest of your lives together. At some point everyone will see that you're not in this for money but you really do love him. And it really will all be okay," Selena promises.

"I hope you're right," I take a big bite of the bagel she's brought me.

"I'm pretty sure I am," Selena smiles. "And I broke my own rule about reading what people are saying on Twitter and I have to tell you there are still some Jarlotte shippers out there. Either that or they just hate me more than you."

"How's Justin?" I ask. I glance at the coffee Selena brought me because I'm thirsty but I know I'm not supposed to have it.

"It's decaf," Selena says. "And Justin is going to be fine. You two just went through something huge and it's going to take a little while for both of you to get used to this new life together. But you'll be okay."

"I don't know, I really hurt him," I take a sip of my coffee.

"You know, Justin really, really loves you," Selena tells me. "And as much as he knows you're a little off right now because you're pregnant he doesn't really understand what it's like. I mean, I don't really understand either, I just know I get more emotional when I have my period so I'm guessing it's kind of like that."