Forget Me Not || Minsung

9

"Now tell me what the hell happened there?!" Jisung nearly flinched at the leader's shout. He's not used to seeing him anywhere near angry at all so it's a totally new zone for him.

His eyes followed Chan's conflicted figure pacing back and forth, the side of his neck turning red from the amount of rubbing it.

"Chan," Jisung carefully called. "I understand you're mad but can you take a breath for a second?"

He mentally got ready for the next round of shouts but surprisingly the leader stopped pacing and took a deep breath.

"You're right." He slowly shook his lowered head before looking at Jisung with emotion filled eyes.

Right at that second, Jisung was once again reminded of Jeongin's words. He truly is stressing himself out too much. He seems tired.

"You're right, Jisung. I'm sorry for yelling."

The younger is quick to forgive and go back to the previous conversation, which he would rather avoid. With a pat near himself, Chan sat down on the big metal box next to Jisung and placed his elbows on his knees.

"Jisung," Chan said in a serious tone that caused the hairs on Jisung's arms to perk up. He hummed in response, not trusting his voice.

"I hope you understand this is serious."

Silence.

They could hear early autumn raindrops hit the outside windowsill through the open window. They could feel the temperature slowly change from summer weather to autumn with the cold puddles forming outside. And they could hear Jisung's unstable breathing which inflicted even more panic inside him in that empty wire room.

Unexpectedly, he felt Chan's hand on his thigh. An offer of comfort, something he was silently grateful for.

"I know," Jisung replied with a lack of emotions.

He felt the rising questions from Chan and felt uncomfortable and lost on how to avoid it. He knew what he did in the early afternoon, his outburst, violence, all of it was unacceptable. No matter how he felt.

He knew he did too much and most importantly said too much. Jisung remembers his emotions taking control and the words spilled like peas from a flipped bowl. He overstepped. But so did Minho.

"I know you want to ask...but can we please not do this? I just can't say it out loud." The younger felt a sudden urge to cry but with all power held it in. He knew that crying wouldn't help him. It would only cause more stress for Chan.

"Can you write it down, then? I really want to help. Please let me," Chan pleaded, a note of hurt and exhaustion in his voice. And as much as Jisung wanted to wipe those emotions away, he knew he couldn't.

"I can't. Look, if I let another person know...it will all become too real. It's already painful enough, Chan. I don't think I could take another hit. I just can't..." He stopped talking when the urge to cry came back again and made his voice shake, his eyes burning with the upcoming tears.

I cry a whole lot. It's annoying.

Chan engulfed him in a hug and whispered sweet nothings about everything being okay.

They both knew it was a lie but for that moment, a lie was better than the truth.

A few long minutes later, Jisung's tears stopped and he pulled away from the hug, wiping his face with his hoodie sleeve. Chan gave him a tissue to blow his nose with and Jisung gave him a small 'thanks'.

Bluesung gathered all his strength for the conversation to keep going. He knew, no matter Chan's words to take a break, he still needed to solve the issue he created this afternoon.