10 months, 10 chances || Minsung

01

Staring straight at the door felt like hours to Jisung, he just couldn't comprehend Changbin's actions. When did he change like that? Was it Jisung's fault?

Tears that he tried to suppress while facing the elder start to fall down uncontrollably now, he had to support himself at the sink so he wouldn't collapse from the raising panic attack. The only noises that could be heard in the bathroom were Jisung's desperate sobs and his heavy breathing. Absolutely no emotion he ever felt was comparable to the devastating one he experienced just now.

His attempts to calm down were nothing, it couldn't calm him down to count down in steps of three from 30. If it makes something then his situation worse.

He trusted Changbin with all of his heart and he jumped on it. Jisung was scared about the worsening of his breaths he gets, he really wanted to calm down there was just no way. The last option he was thinking about is sitting down, so he wouldn't hurt himself if he gets unconscious. And that's exactly what he did, slowly and with an unsteady pace. It would've been a great advantage if he could hold onto something while sitting down. Impossible if you take a look at his shaking limbs.

Jisung feels hopeless, drowning in his thoughts when he doesn't notice how the door from the bathroom opens again. The only thing he hears is his name what makes him look up a bit and quickly stroking away his tears trying not to look vulnerable in front of people, he hates this so much.

He doesn't recognize who it is because his vision is blurry, but the person has a calming radiance. Maybe Changbin came back to tell him it was a joke? The boy kneels down next to Jisung and tries to talk to him, to listen and to breath with him. He tried it, he really did because it somehow feels as if he has too.

One breath at a time, slowly, deep, calming. And after Jisung's vision clears a bit, he could easily recognize the boy in front of him.

Lee Minho, he kind of made their group complete since he exchanged schools one month ago and Jisung was thankful for it. Minho on the other hand doesn't know a single detail about Jisung. It's not that Jisung wouldn't like to talk to him, it's just that he usually doesn't talk about his life or his feelings.

But even with the point that Minho doesn't know details in Jisung's life, he felt his heart sting at the sight of Jisung sitting on the cold bathroom floor in their school. He couldn't describe it, it just feels so unfamiliar and as if he would suffer with him, so he just had to go to him and try to calm him, which led to the situation they were now in: Jisung being close in front of him, breathing a bit calmer than before and Minho with thousands of questions in his head.

What was this feeling in his chest? Yeah they are some kind of best friends, but is it normal that it hurts him so much seeing Jisung like this? Why does he want to protect Jisung so bad?

"Are you a bit better? what happened?" Minho at least wanted to know how he is feeling right now when he can't even answer the questions flying around his head himself, and he also wants to get to know him better since they also happen to share the same friend group.

Being in the situation Jisung is right now, could be considerate as really difficult. He doesn't know how he feels and he also can't talk to him about Changbin, even tho the elder hurt him it's simply not his tea to spill. That's something Jisung knows really well himself, it definitely isn't that funny to be outed by someone when you're not ready.

So what would he tell Minho? He still isn't much of a talker and don't start thinking about talking over feelings, after doing it one time he regretted it immediately. So he just started keeping things for himself, only talking when he was asked to. As soon as he notices a slight panic in his stomach from just not answering he gets it to mumble a quiet "kinda".

That's an answer Minho could definitely live with, he sits down in front of him, legs crossed and eyes on Jisung. Just not that intense that Jisung would feel uncomfortable, it was the opposite actually because he feels comfortable around Minho. Ever since Minho asked him to sit down next to him in class when he was new, Jisung felt the comfort Minho was carrying around and that's exactly the reason why they are best friends.

"I would really like to get to know you better, you know?" He was really hesitant about asking Jisung this, but he figured maybe it would be a good distraction from whatever occurs in Jisung's thoughts right now.

Voice still shaky and his limbs slightly trembling from the, now declining, panic attack Jisung somehow manages to say "I'm just not that much of a talker, besides you wouldn't like me anymore if I tell you about myself" the second part you could only hear through sobs, it was the most exposing sentence he said in weeks. He himself didn't know why he said it first hand, actually Jisung promised himself to never let anyone know how he thinks about himself, or how he feels, what his circumstances are and so on.

The feeling to be pushed away after saying this to Minho, flys away really quick as soon as he hears him say "I won't, I promise you. Just give me chance please"

Surprised, shocked, happy? What is Jisung supposed to feel? He hasn't even heard something sincerely like this when he was in a relationship with Changbin. So now he was contemplating: should he just try and trust Minho? But what if he pushes him away, like Changbin did? Why can't he just be happy about someone who cares for him?

All the overthinking was so much for him eventually and seeing a nervous Minho in front of him, just pushed him over the edge. It makes him step over his comfort line. Jisung was really hesitant, he doesn't know what Minho's intentions were, but he is willing to try. He just wants to feel like a normal person again and he also doesn't want to think like this. Well now here he was facing Minho, letting a quiet sigh escape his mouth.

"Alright, I'll give you ten"