10 months, 10 chances || Minsung

27

As for Jisung, of course he heard it, he didn't say anything about it though. He pretended like he really was asleep and he tried to convince himself Minho never said anything like that, why even would he? It just didn't make any sense to him so he ignored it, ignored the fact that his heart made a little jump whenever he thought about that night.

He ignored it for weeks.

He also didn't bother to tell Minho any of the stories he told him he would, he lost count how many he already told him. Jisung figured, that it would be best to bring some distance between them.

So he didn't call Minho at nights where his crying wouldn't stop, where he got nightmares that made him bawl his eyes out, made him think he was dying.

He was scared shitless. To love and to be loved.

So he ran away from it, he wouldn't allow himself to be in a relationship with someone just so it could turn out like it did with Changbin, even if it meant to ignore his heart fluttering or his cheeks getting rosy whenever Minho made a cheesy comment or called him love or anything like that.

It destroyed him, destroyed them.

The casual glances Minho gave him out of worry and love eventually died down, the smile only Minho could put on Jisung's face was nowhere to be seen. They blamed it on Insu, he's been like that ever since they met, they didn't want to lose their friend. But they didn't know what to do, it was Jisung's decision to distance themself from them, to go to the rooftop during lunch. Alone.

It did something to all of them, Felix who was usually so bubbly and talkative when he sat with Jisung, became quiet. He didn't see the point in gossiping without his best friend, sure he has Hyunjin but they spend almost every day together, he just knows everything Felix would talk about already. Jisung's absence or presence made it awkward between them and he knew that, that it was all his fault. He made their friends awkward with each other, if it wouldn't be for him they would be normal. And Jisung was overthinking that every single day.

It made him unable to just simply breathe without feeling bad.

Jisung went through with that until the end of August, that was almost two months of avoiding his friends, they tried to talk to him but when Jisung didn't seem to want to talk to them they gave him a pat on his shoulder and went away.

They missed him, Minho missed him and for them it just couldn't continue like that so during lunch Minho followed Jisung up to the rooftop, he came around five minutes later than Jisung did and even if that was just a little time, he saw the stray tears running down Jisung's cheeks. He was leaned back onto the wall, knees pulled close to his chest and his headphones were blasting music, making him unable to hear anything and with his eyes closed he didn't even notice Minho's presence.

For Minho, he just felt guilty, he knew Jisung wasn't feeling well, yet he didn't do much since he thought Jisung didn't want help in the first place. And who knows maybe he really didn't want help, but he needed some.

But Minho wasn't sure if he was the one to help Jisung.

When Jisung opened his eyes he jumped lightly, he definitely didn't expect Minho to sit in front of him, or anyone to be on the rooftop at all, he wiped his tears and looked away, too ashamed to look Minho in the eyes. Minho though just started to wipe his tears away and rested his hand on Jisung's cheek.

It calmed Jisung down, of course it did. Just because he avoided him doesn't mean all his feelings for Minho got washed away.

"Sungie please talk to me, you've been so distant ever since you saw him again we're worried about you"

Jisung just enjoyed the little touch though, he didn't know what to say or if he should say anything to begin with. He only had this little information that's suffocating him day by day, now would be a good opportunity to talk about that right? And even if it turns out really bad, they'll be graduating soon so he wouldn't have to be embarrassed too long, he could just go away, change his number and start new, couldn't he?

"I heard you. That night. You said you love me, do you?" he started biting his lip anxiously while Minho was totally taken aback, he didn't know what he should answer, of course he loves him but his answer now could change so much. He'd have to overcome his fears of how love could turn out after a while, was he ready to do that for Jisung, for them? Hell yes he was, so he nodded gaining more confidence.

"I do, I am in love with you. I've been since quite a while now and I get if you don't love me back but-"

Sweet lips on his own interrupted the speech he was about to hold. It felt like they are just meant for each other. The rhythm, the pace and the love they poured into it just fit so perfectly and when they looked at each other again, their eyes giving the other as much love as they are holding, saying enough with only looking at each other.

"I am in love with you too" it was quiet, but Minho heard it. Smiling to himself before that smile started to faint, his voice only a bit above a whisper.

"But why are you distancing yourself from me then? From all the others?"

"I'm scared from getting hurt or hurt you I don't want to- look there is something I have to tell you"

They confessed, that gave Jisung the much needed confidence to talk about it with Minho, he knew exactly what's holding him back and maybe with this conversation they could work. Be together, maybe both of them could finally be able to love and to be loved, so he continued

"The day you came to me, in the bathroom where I had this panic attack. I'm not supposed to tell you because I'm not the person to out people that are closeted but I trust you. That day Changbin broke up with me and the things he said are really fucking with my mind and I'm just so so scared to get hurt like that again. I thought when I would avoid you I would stop loving you but that didn't work"

But Minho looked unfazed, he listened that was obvious but something just seemed off. A quiet sigh left Minho's lips before he went to hug him. Jisung expected a different reaction though, he was dating Changbin which made him have this panic attack and Minho hugged him? Without any change in facial expression?

"You seem so, I don't know unbothered?" Jisung slowly pushed him away having a frown his face while looking at Minho, who just wore a sad expression. Then Minho took Jisung's hand before telling him the secret he had been holding since way too long, that was bound to get to Jisung sooner or later.

"It was me, I was the person who told him to break up with you, he didn't do it himself, I told him the way to break up how he did it"

And Jisung's heart shattered.

Again.