Chased by El Lewis Vesper Esquivel

Chapter 36

“El…I want to talk with your parents alone.”

He stopped drinking his coffee and gave me his full attention.

Kinakabahan akong tumingin sa kanya. I wanna talk to them to say my apologies and for other reasons too. And I want him out of the conversation.

He looked at me sternly.

Napalunok ako ng malalim sa paraan ng tingin niya. I need to convince him. “I just wanna talk to them in private, to say my apologies without you.”

He heaved out a heavy sigh.

“I do not want them to hesitate just because you are with me. I've been wanting to talk to them if given the chance so please, El.”

I reached out his hand on the table and his eyes quickly followed it, attentively looking at my hands on his. He swallowed hard and let out again a heavy sigh.

“Please, El.”

He looked at me again in the eyes, this time, looking so defeated.

“Fine, I’m gonna stay outside but I’m gonna storm in if you won’t get out in thirty minutes. Only thirty minutes.” He stated sharply.

Nabuhayan ako ng loob. I let out a forced smile. “Thank you.”

And so that afternoon, I got ready. My movements were heavy and the hesitation inside me was eating me alive.

I wore my puff sleeve dress and flat strap sandals. I wanted to look at least formal in front of his parents. Tiningnan ko ang kabuuan ko sa salamin, I looked fine but I am not sure if I looked ready. I had no choice anyway, ayaw ko ng palampasin ang pagkakataon na maka-usap sila ng masinsinan.

My bedroom door opened and saw El coming in with his white long sleeves, two buttons opened and maong pants. We looked at each other through the mirror, at kaagad siyang yumakap sa akin mula sa likod.

And I can’t help but feel bitter.

“Give me a call and I’ll be with you.” Sumiksik siya sa leeg ko at binigyan ako ng mumunting halik.

I closed my eyes tightly feeling the warmth of his body and his kisses. My heart constricted in pain and joy. I am very much in love with him and I just wanna stay like this forever. Pero alam kong hindi pwede, there is a much bigger problem than this and I need to act on it now.

“I’ll be fine, El.” I whispered softly.

He gave me a swift kiss on the lips and then I let go of him. He clenched his jaw a little bit as he watched me let go of him. He can’t do anything anymore.

I let out a smile and then turned my back. The nervousness that I was feeling doubled as the staff guided me in one of their private rooms, and when the staff finally opened the door for me, kinakailangan ko pang humugot ng malalim na hininga.

I can do this. This is long overdue and they deserve to know the truth. Even though my parents no longer see me as their own, my obligation for them will never end. They are still my parents, and it hurts to see them in this kind of situation, but prolonging this will make them suffer more. At ayokong mangyari iyon.

They have done me wrong but they are still my parents. Sila pa rin ang rason kung bakit ako nabubuhay ngayon. Kahit masakit at mahirap, I was able to enjoy every joyful moment of it and able to realise and learn things as I suffer from it. It was bittersweet but definitely worth it. At pang habang buhay kong utang lahat ng iyon sa kanila.

I walked in slowly and when I finally saw the both of them, I tried so hard to maintain my calm posture, kahit na kitang-kita ko na ang galit sa kanilang mga mata.