The pieces of my puzzle.

Twenty six

(Azara's POV)

I don't know what to feel.

I'm numb but feel everything at the same time.

I was sitting in my bathtub with my knees pulled to my chest and my chin resting on my knees.

It had been 8 days and 5 hours since Inferno died.

Yes I was keeping count. I didn't know what else to do.

I sighed as another wave of emotion hit me and the tears cascaded down my cheeks.

I have tried multiple times to reign in my emotions. To get some kind of grip on anything.

But I had failed miserably.

My phone pinged as another message came through.

I had locked myself in my house and hadn't let anyone in or answered any calls or texts.

The Dagger team had all tried to get a hold of me. But I didn't let anyone in.

My dad, Penny and Phoenix all came by multiple times but didn't succeed.

Even Hangman came by once. They all left food, flowers or letters by my door.

But out of all of them, Bradly tried the hardest.

The first few nights he had slept on the couch on my porch in hopes that I would let him in.

I didn't let him in but I did bring him food and blankets.

He even tried talking to me through the door but I didn't let him in because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it together in front of him.

After a few days he gave me some space but kept sending texts.

My dad had threatened to kick down my front door if I didn't let him in but I ignored him. I knew he couldn't do it. My door was a 900kg Sal wood door.

Today I decided to get out of my house.

Not for the reasons you think, but to go to a bar.

I couldn't handle my own emotions and thoughts anymore. I needed to forget about everything for a while.

I got on my Harley Davidson and went to a bar named 'Frank's place'. I didn't want to go to the Hard Deck because A, That would ruin my reputation a bit. B, Penny and her staff wouldn't let me get drunk. And C, I couldn't risk getting seen by my dad or Penny.

I can't face them just yet. I'll admit, I'm ashamed of how I reacted. I probably could've had a better reaction than to lock myself away.

But that has always been how I dealt with my emotions.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dad and he's an amazing parent but he does have a tendency to view a problem from a parent perspective and not be able to view it from the child's perspective.

I couldn't always tell Bradly everything. And I never knew my mom.

So I learned to avoid or ignore my emotions. I bottled everything up until I was about to burst and then cry silently when I was alone.

I sighed as I pulled up in front of the bar. I dismounted from my bike and entered the mildly busy bar.

I walked straight towards the bar that was in the middle of the room. I looked at the bartender. He was a dark haired man, maybe a few years younger than me. "Your strongest drink, please." I asked, taking a seat at the bar.

He nodded. "Coming right up." He responded and started making it, coming back a moment later and placing a clear glass in front of me.

I thanked him, grabbed the glass and tilted it back into my throat.