Safe & Sound//Sebastian Sallow

fifty-five.

Sebastian and I climbed into bed together and got situated under the covers. I was hoping to feel comforted by having him in bed with me again, but having spent the last two months alone and the constant awareness that he was missing his memories, it was like lying next to a stranger. Despite the fun we'd just had, I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. Feeling the tears start to form, I turned to my side, facing away from Sebastian.

"Althea? Are you okay," he asked, sensing my sudden mood change.

"Mmhmm," I replied, knowing that if I said any actual words my voice would crack.

"Did I do something?" His voice sounded nervous, which made me feel awful.

"Not at all," I assured him before sniffing.

"I can tell something is wrong."

"I swear it's nothing you've done. Emotions from processing things are just hitting me in waves."

"It feels like you're not telling the whole truth."

"I just...I-" A sob escaped me despite my efforts to keep it in.

"Althea," he whispered as he rubbed my back. "I'm here for you. You can talk to me."

"I just miss you," I cried. "It's not your fault at all, but things feel different now and it's hard to come to terms with."

"I wish I could remember. I wish I could give you what you need." He sounded crushed. I rolled over to face him and saw that his face was scrunched up from either sadness or frustration, or both.

"Please don't be hard on yourself," I said, placing my hand on his cheek. "Don't take on stress that isn't necessary."

"You're crying because of me."

"I'm crying because of me." I removed my hand from his cheek and wiped my eyes. "I'm just having trouble letting go of the past."

"You shouldn't have to let go. If I could just remember, things could go back to how they were."

"I think I need to come to terms with the fact that things may never go back to how they were. I'm not giving up hope and I mean it when I say I'm going to give everything I have to help you with your memories, but there's a strong chance they might not come back and I need to be prepared for that."

"What will happen if they don't come back? With us?"

"That's entirely up to you. I just want you to be happy. I want you to be happy with me, but I'd never hold you back if you didn't want that, no matter how hard it would be."

"You don't need to be so selfless all the time."

"I don't think I'm being selfless. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I was holding you back."

"You're a special person, Althea. No matter what happens, know that I can see that about you." Sebastian wiped away a few stray tears that had fallen down my face.

"You're special, too. I hope you know just how special you are."

Sebastian surprised me by leaning in and kissing my forehead. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to me. He truly was a great man.

"Get some rest," he told me, rubbing his hand through my hair.

"Sleep well, Sebastian."

"Sleep well, Althea."

I sniffed a final time before getting comfortable and trying to fall asleep. My body must have been as tired as my mind because it didn't take long for me to drift off. Unfortunately, it wasn't a restful sleep.