Safe & Sound//Sebastian Sallow

fifty-one.

Everything after those three words was a blur. Ominis and Imelda had received the owl I'd sent and brought Anita and Damian to the lake house. Lira had found Emery safe inside the house asleep. I don't remember much of what happened with the interrogation process aside from the fact that I'd acted in self-defense and was cleared.

Lira took Emery to her mother's to stay for awhile and Sebastian went to stay with Ominis. His memory of me hadn't come back, so I was still a stranger to my own husband. If I could kill Charles again, I would.

I let Headmaster Black know that I wouldn't be returning to Hogwarts to teach during the new school year. He was surprisingly understanding and told me I was welcome back whenever I felt ready. I was thankful to him.

It was hard to remember the last time since the attack that I'd been fully sober. When I got home, alone, I opened a bottle of wine and started drinking. I only stopped drinking to sleep. Everything was too hard to deal with and I wanted to numb the pain.

I barely left the house aside from when I needed to refill my alcohol supply. There were times when I would sit outside by the sea, hoping the current would pull me under and not let me go, taking me away from the pain I was feeling. My wishes weren't granted, though. I'd pass out on the beach and wake up to the same daily realization that my husband had been taken from me.

Knowing Sebastian was alive and him not knowing who I was was harder for me than if he'd been killed. I couldn't bear the knowledge that he could one day be happy with someone else, never remembering what we went through together. Sebastian had shaped me as a person and I didn't even exist to him anymore. It was daily torture.

Imelda or Ominis stopped by once a week to bring me food. I was hardly eating, but I appreciated the thought nonetheless. They would lecture me over my drinking and the state of my home, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore.

I couldn't bring myself to ask them about Sebastian. It would've hurt too much to know if he was also struggling or, worse, if he wasn't struggling at all, which I knew deep down was probably the case.

I'd fallen asleep in the sand again when I was shaken awake. I opened my eyes and looked up to see both Imelda and Ominis. I hadn't seen them both together since the day everything happened.

"You look like shit," Imelda said to me.

"Lovely to see you, too," I groaned. The sunlight was hurting my head.

"You've gotta stop falling asleep by the water," Ominis chided. "The tide is going to come up and sweep you out."

"That's the plan," I told him. I did my best to sit up, but dizziness washed over me and I fell back.

"You're being pathetic," Imelda complained as she helped me stand up.

"You always knew just what to say to cheer me up," I replied sarcastically. I held onto her tightly as the three of us walked up to the house.

I was passed the point of being embarrassed and had just accepted that my house was going to be a mess. When we entered, we were greeted by empty bottles littering the floor and dirty dishes filling the sink. Clothes were strewn about wherever I'd decided to take them off. I was living in a deplorable mess.

"It's gotten worse in here, hasn't it," Ominis asked.

"Be thankful you can't see," Imelda told him. "It's a shithole."

"Please, make yourself at home," I chimed in, pretending I didn't hear them.

"Dammit, Althea," Imelda yelled at me. She grabbed both of my shoulders and started shaking me. "You're better than this. Where is the fiery girl who never backed down from a challenge?"