𝔾𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 (𝕃𝕖𝕖 𝔽𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕩 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥)

~Chapter 5~

"one more time from the top!" minho hyung's voice called out to the group.

we had already gone through the song eight times without a single break and i felt like shit.

everything hurt.

my ears were ringing, my breathing was uneven and my shirt felt itchy, rubbing against my skin in the most unnerving way.

"can we please take a break, hyung? we've gone through it enough times already." jisung groaned.

"then why do i still see you making mistakes?" minho hyung asked sharply, daring anyone to complain again. then, he sighed, "look, i know everyone's tired. lets just do it once more and we'll have a fifteen minute break, alright?"

no one objected.

and so, the booming music started to pour out of the speakers once more.

after the song came to an end, we all collapsed into a heap on the floor, out of breath. we all went to the side of the room to get our water bottles before i remembered i had forgotten mine.

i silently groaned and leaned against the wall.

"you alright, hyung?" jeongin asked me as he sipped on his water.

"i'm fine. i just forgot my waterbottle." i sighed.

"do you want some of mine? we don't want you to pass out again." han offered his bottle to me, looking concerned.

you're just gonna be a burden again.

"no thanks, i'll be fine." i shook my head almost immediately.

"alright. just tell us if you really need a drink, yeah?" jisung smiled at me.

i could tell that they were just scared of me passing out again but i was perfectly fine! couldn't they just leave me alone?

but instead i said, "i will, thanks sungie."

and practice continued.

~timeskip~

we were finally done with practice for the day but i still wasn't happy with my dance so i asked chan hyung to let me stay for a little while longer.

"you sure? we haven't had lunch or breakfast yet. i'm sure you're starving by now."

see, he knows you're a fat pig that constantly eats.

"i'm sure. don't worry about me. i'll be there for recording. you guys have your lunches." i insisted.

chan hyung nodded with a sigh and left with the rest of the members.

i stared at the mirror dauntingly and went to play the music. i practiced it over and over again but i always made a mistake. i was getting even more frustrated by the second.

on my 13th time going over the dance, i twisted my ankle and fell onto my knees. my breathing started to get uneven and tears started to fill my eyes.

you're such a constant screw-up.

you are so ugly.

why are you alive.

nobody likes you.

just kill yourself.

i let out a gasp when i heard the unfamilliar voice.

"w-who are you?"

i'm me, felix. i'm your friend.

"r-really?"

yes, and let's keep it that way.

"but my members are my friends too, right?"

the voice let out a scoff.

you think they actually like you?

they just pity you.

i'm your only friend.

all you have to do is follow what i say and we'll be friends forever.

"okay. what do i do now?"

i was so desperate for a friend after i was convinced no one liked me.

get up and practice.

i don't care about your ankle.

you want me as your friend, right?

"y-yes! of course."

so practice i did.