𝔾𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 (𝕃𝕖𝕖 𝔽𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕩 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥)

~Chapter 9~

"WAKE UUU- oof!" the pillow i threw hit jisung square in the face, effectively cutting his morning cry off.

"shush! minnie's still sleeping" i whispered, looking fondly at the sleeping boy in my arms.

"sorry." jisung smiled sheepishly "minho hyung made breakfast, by the way. pancakes." and he left.

you can't eat it!

you're already too fat!

i sigh.

you're back again?

you thought i'd left?

the voice sneered.

"lix? whatcha thinking 'bout?" seungmin's raspy morning voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"nothing much, minnie. oh! and minho hyung made pancakes." i chuckled when seungmin's eyes lit up at the mention of pancakes.

"what are you waiting for, then? let's go!" he jumped out of bed excitedly.

"you can go. i'm not really hungry." i shrug slightly, snuggling more into the warmth of the bed.

"come on, lix. i haven't seen you eat in a few days."

"i did eat!" i said defensively.

"oh yeah? what did you eat yesterday?"

"i- um..."

"exactly. come on!" seungmin rolled his eyes before tugging at my shirt, willing me to get up.

"alright, alright!" i begrudgingly walked over to the kitchen with seungmin.

"hey lix!" minho hyung called to me with a bright smile.

"what am i? a dead carcrass?" seungmin joked.

"morning, minnie." minho hyung chuckled while ruffling seungmin's hair, "so, how many pancakes would you like?"

"3 with syrup please." seungmin's eyes sparkled.

"um... one is enough. maybe an apple would be nice?" i shrugged.

"you need to eat more, lix. especially for breakfast."

"i know, i know. i'm just on a new diet."

"diet? our manager never said anything about you going on a diet?" minho hyung looked at me worriedly.

"oh, yeah. i set it myself."

"but you hate diets." hyunjin, who just walked into the kitchen, pointed out, "plus, you're already too skinny. you should be gaining, not losing."

they just want you to be fat and disgusting.

you shouldn't eat.

they just want you to fail.

you need to lose the weight.

i shrugged, "it can't hurt, can it?"

minho hyung sighed, shaking his head before he went to fix my plate.

"y'know, felix, i'm really unsure about this 'diet'. I'm worried for you." chan hyung stared at me.

i rolled my eyes slightly, "i'll be fine, hyung. it's just a diet. we've all done it before."

"i'm just worried for you, lixie. are you sure you can manage it?"

"yes, hyung."

"here's your plate, minnie. and yours, lix." minho hyung said as he set the plates down on the dining table.

"thanks hyung." seungmin said with his mouth stuffed after he dove straight into the pancakes, "these are so good!"

"aren't you gonna eat, lix?" minho hyung looked at me questionably.

"oh! yeah, yeah." i picked up the apple and bit into it, letting the sweet, juicy pulp burst in my mouth.

"we have to go in ten minutes. hurry up." hyunjin yawned slightly before leaving the kitchen to get ready.

"we should probably get ready too." chan hyung said to me before him and most of the members left the kitchen, leaving only seungmin, changbin and me.

"hyung, why aren't you getting ready?" seungmin asked.

"i'm already changed." changbin answered as he scrolled through his phone.

we sat in silence as seungmin and i finished our breakfasts and went to change into practice clothes.

i threw on some black baggy sweatpants and a black oversized shirt. ruffling my hair, i took a look at myself one last time in the mirror before stepping out.

you know, you haven't weighed yourself in a while.

you should probably do it after you come back to practice.

i sighed.

alright.

i jumped into the backseat of the van that was waiting for us, not missing the glare that was thrown my way by the manager.

'burden' i saw him mouth.

"so, lixie, have you seen the new..." i tuned jeongin out as the word the manager mouthed echoed in my head like an empty whisper.

burden

burden

burden

burden

burden

burden-

"felix?"