𝔾𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 (𝕃𝕖𝕖 𝔽𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕩 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥)

~Chapter 11~

they went to bed an hour ago.

i could still hear the laughter ringing in my ears from an hour ago.

they don't need you to be happy.

you're just an extra burden.

minho hyung didn't even bother calling you again.

you know why?

it's because he hates you.

i stared at the ceiling blankly, wanting sleep to just take me. but of course, fate isn't that kind, now, is it?

i continued to stare into darkness, as i tried to imagine the ceiling as a starless night. i don't know how long i stared into to nothingness but before i knew it, the sun was peeking over the horizon. a glimmer of first light shined on the land, painting everything in its hold a pale golden.

i ran a hand through my hair, waiting for the first alarm in the dorm to ring.

and it did. before long, i heard the groans of minho hyung telling chan hyung to 'shut that damn alarm off'.

of course it's chan hyung's, i thought, he's always up so early.

and what do you do?

just laze around all day.

it's no wonder nobody likes you.

you don't do anything.

i swung my legs off the side of my bedframe, shivering at how cold the floor tiles were, and walked to the kitchen.

"hey lix. did my alarm wake you? sorry." chan hyung smiled apologetically.

"no, no. i was awake anyway." i shook my head dismissively.

"you sleeping alright?"

"hm? yeah. just one of those restless nights, you know?" i shrugged as chan hyung nodded understandingly.

we sat on the couch in comfortable silence while waiting for the rest of the members. i hugged my knees towards my chest and leaned on chan hyung and smiled as he swung his arm around me.

"i love you, lixie."

what?

he doesn't.

don't listen to him.

no one likes you.

don't lie to yourself.

"lix? you're shaking. is there something wrong? did i say something wrong? i'm sorry-" i cut him off by hugging him tightly as I buried my face in his chest.

i could feel tears building up when chan hyung patted my back slightly but i willed them away.

he doesn't like you!

get off of him!

you're making him uncomfortable.

is that what you want?

for him to hate you even more?

i immediately pulled away from him, unwilling to meet his eyes.

"what's wrong, lix?"

what's wrong?

what's wrong with me?

i didn't realise that i was crying before salty tears filled my mouth.

"i don't know." i sobbed quietly while wiping my tears away furiously. but they continued to fall, wetting my face even more.

"oh lix." he opened his arms but i shook my head instead.

"do you really?" i asked quietly, staring at the tiled floor.

"what?"

"do you really- do you really love me, hyung?" my vision was blurry from the tears. whenever they fell, new ones replaced them.

i watched as his face fell.

"you hate me, don't you? you all hate me." i curled up on myself even further as i sobbed into my hands.

suddenly, i felt a pair of warm arms envelope me.

"how could we ever hate you, lixie? you're our sunshine. we all love you." he whispered in my ear reassuringly, "i know i do."

"thank you, hyung. i love you too." i smiled slightly, "but please don't tell the rest about this."

"of course, lix. just happy i could help you." chan hyung patted my head, "i'll go wake the others up, you go wash your face, alright?"

i nodded gratefully before going to the bathroom to wash up.

hey loves!

I think I'm just gonna do like Felix breaking down to each individual member and then they tell each other what happened at the same time or only chan and maybe Lee know knows. which one do you guys want? anyways, have a good day/afternoon/night!

kisses, Delilah <3