𝔾𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 (𝕃𝕖𝕖 𝔽𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕩 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥)

~Chapter 24~

"felix! what the hell!" minho hyung snapped.

it had been our sixth run through of our song today. all because of me. i kept messing it up.

what is wrong with you, felix?

you should just leave the group.

or better yet, leave this world.

the others are working so hard and you're just here, slacking off.

what did chan see in you?

maybe if you weren't australian, he never would've picked you.

you can't do anything right.

"-lix? felix! are you even listening? oh my god! what is wrong with you today?" minho hyung huffed, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"lixie? are you alright?" seungmin furrowed his eyebrows, his lips were pursed in worry. "you spaced out for quite a bit there."

"y-yes. i'm fine. i'll try harder, i promise. sorry, hyung." i looked at my feet, trying to focus on the mud tracks on my shoes instead of the urge to cry that was building up.

we started again, the music crashed like waves into my eardrums and i stumbled slightly, missing the beat once more.

this time, however, i felt the cold hand of fear trailing down my back. all of a sudden, breathing sounded like the hardest thing in the world. my knees buckled and i could no longer hear or feel, but the moment my knees slammed onto the hardwood floor, everything came back tenfold.

the music no longer sounded like music, just a loud, blaring sound that rattled my skull and sent white hot pain through my head. my clothes felt too tight, suffocating even. my members' shouts of worry only made everything worse. the thick scent of sweat in the air was suddenly so putrid that i could taste it on my tongue, making me cringe even more.

"s-stop! please stop..." i barely whispered out as i gripped at my hair, trying to ground myself and slow my rapid breathing.

i could make out the silhouettes of my members freeze through my foggy vision.

"lix...? please just breathe with me, alright?" a soft voice spoke through the haze in my head.

i shook my head frantically, squeezing my eyes shut in attempt to block out the glaring white lights of the practice room.

"too b-bright." i shuddered out, feeling my warm tears slipping past my closed lids and onto my already damp cheeks.

after a few moment, i heard a soft clicking sound before a comforting hand was laid on my back.

"it's dark now, lixie." someone whispered in my ear. "can you open your eyes now, hm? for me?"

i let my eyes flutter open after a while and looked around the now dim room. they all had a horrified look on their faces, silently asking what the hell just happened.

"lix..." chan hyung was the first one to break the encapsuled tension around us. "can you explain to us what just happened?"

"i-" the words were stuck in my throat, as though an invisible was choking me, leaving me silent and panicked.

"it's alright, take your time." changbin hyung reassured me lightly, patting my knee.

i swallowed, trying to form a coherent sentence with the words that spun in my mind, creating a whirlwind of emotions.

"i don't know neither what exactly that was, nor what caused it," i croaked out softly, "i just suddenly felt scared."

"scared of me?" minho hyung asked guiltily, his eyes slightly watering.

"o-of course not! everything just felt like too much at the moment and i was overwhelmed. you may have pushed it a bit, although it was my fault, but i was never scared of you. i promise."

"we'll have a talk about this at the dorms tomorrow. but for now, let's bring lixie back so he can rest." chan hyung instructed.

hey loves!

Its been a while since I've done an a/n, no? Hehe sorry. Anygays, I still haven't recovered from Felix fever since the Lollapalooza thing LMAO. Also, I-Day Milan concert was crazy. I wish I lived there. :( But, they are coming to my country! Ahhh! The sad news is, it's smack in the middle of my exams. WHY? I hate it so muchhhhh. This is getting too long lol. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Have a good day/afternoon/night!

Kisses, Delilah<3