𝔾𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 (𝕃𝕖𝕖 𝔽𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕩 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥)

~Chapter 27~

"felix! it's time to go!" jisung shouted from downstairs, startling me.

"i'll be down in a sec!" i yelled, searching for clothes i could wear for practice.

i finally decided on just full a baggy black outfit, quickly throwing it on before rushing downstairs. when jisung looked at me, his eyes stayed trained on my clothes, staring holes through the fabric.

"what?" i tugged at the hem of my shirt, starting to get uncomfortable under his gaze.

"nothing, it's just... i'm certain that shirt used to fit you properly." he muttered the last part with his eyebrows furrowed.

i rubbed my arms in an attempt to conceal myself as i followed behind jisung, trudging toward the van waiting for us.

we climbed in silently, immediately being welcomed by the loud bickering of our members. i winced at the volume and sat between seungmin and chan, the only two people that were at least slightly sensible in the morning.

"what's wrong?" seungmin immediately asked as soon as i plopped down beside him.

"i just didn't wake up properly and the rest are being too loud." i groaned, rubbing my temples.

"are you having the episodes again?" chan hyung frowned, resting his hand on mine.

my eyebrows furrowed when i understood what he meant. i used to have sensory overload episodes. they used to happen every few weeks but when i debuted, the episodes slowly just... vanished.

"no, it's different."

"you sure? it's fine if your sensory issues are getting worse, you can tell us." seungmin said with his eyebrows raised.

"i'm sure. i just didn't wake up properly." i rubbed my eyes tiredly while giving a reassuring smile to both of them.

i was getting scarily good at giving excuses.

the rest of the car ride to the company was, to say the least, chaotic. seungmin started bickering with hyunjin, jisung started a screaming competition in the car and minho hyung and chan hyung started harassing jeongin again.

safe to say, my minor headache did get worse.

we all clambered out of the car a soon as it came to a stop and made our way to the practice room. i trailed behind the group, trying to not be a victim of their ridiculous morning energy.

apparently, changbin hyung had a similar idea.

the atmosphere was far from peaceful, tense, even. the awkwardness hung heavily in the air, like a crushing weight on both our chests.

"felix-" he started.

"i'm sorry." i immediately cut him off. "i know you were just worried and i was acting so shitty. i was rude and wrong and-"

"felix!" changbin hyung placed a hand in my shoulder. "it's okay. sure, i was surprised, but i've been pretty nosy and i disregarded your privacy. i'm sorry too."

he pulled me into a side hug, rubbing the side of my arm. suddenly, he frowned.

he probably feels disgusted right now, having to touch you.

you're so fat.

he's probably so disgusted with the fats on your arm.

"felix, are losing weight lately? your arms are... a little too thin."

he's lying.

your arms are flabby.

you're basically overweight.

"not that i know of?" i lied straight through my teeth. "i've not been losing weight, i promise."

changbin hyung looked at me skeptically before shrugging and going to walk with the others. i let out a breath of relief as soon as i was out of his sight.

they wouldn't care, right?

of course they wouldn't care.

or have you forgotten the rules of the game already, felix?

no, i haven't.

good.

we finally got to the practice room and while we were practicing, the only thing i could focus on was the continuous pounding in my head, almost like someone was using a jackhammer to smash through my skull. i winced uncomfortably when i occasionally make the mistake of looking up into the ceiling lights.

when will this be over?