HOW CAN SOMEONE MAKE ME FEEL SO GOOD
AND SO BAD
ALL THE TIME
WHEN HE'S THERE HE'S EVERY STAR IN THE NIGHT SKY
AND THEN HE'S GONE
FOR DAYS AT A TIME
AND THERE IS NO LIGHT
SO I CAN NOT SEE
AND I CAN NOT WALK
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?
I AM IMMOBILE, WAITING FOR A RESPONSE
HYPNOTIZED BY THE IDEA THAT YOU MIGHT REAPPEAR
SO I CAN NOT STOP STARING AT THE SKY
'CAUSE IF I BLINK
I MIGHT MISS YOU AGAIN
DOES HE HATE ME?
IS HE TOO BUSY FOR ME?
IS HE OKAY?
WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER?
(i scream.)
GOD, I CRUMBLE UNDER YOUR FORCE
YOUR WORDS CRUSH ME
YOUR SILENCE IS DEAFENING
I COULD NOT LOVE SOMEONE AS MUCH AS I HATE YOUR ABSENCE
YOUR WORDLESSNESS
THE WAY I ALWAYS FEEL WORTHLESS.
I CRY AND I SCREAM AND I LOSE MY VOICE BECAUSE YOU'VE COME BACK
JUST TO LEAVE ME AGAIN
I 'VE FOUND
(DO NOT LEAVE ME, I BEG ONCE AGAIN.
THIS TIME, IT'S MORE PATHETIC)
I AM A FOOL
I AM A JESTER
AND YOU, MY KING.
I WOULD ENTERTAIN YOU
UNTIL I CANT STAND
IF YOU'D AT LEAST LAUGH AT ME.
I WILL WAIT FOREVER
BUT I HAVE TO PRETEND YOU'RE THERE
OR I MIGHT GO MAD
MAYBE THEN YOU'D LOOK AT ME
AND LAUGH AT THE INSANITY
YOU CAUSED.
i do not wish to disturb
But i do hope that
At least in your dreams you talk to me
(i am not okay, i think.
But this time you do not have to worry
You do not have to save me.
i hope i haven't scared you off again.)
each poem gets more desperate.
