I promised myself I wouldn't write about you anymore, but as I sit on my bedroom floor I can't help but do so.
you are my greatest inspiration and you are the thing I yearn for at night.
when i close my eyes, i pray that i' ll wake up to your messages
and i never do.
so as my cat curls up in my lap,
i decide to write to you
in hopes you' ll remember me
i wrote you a letter with a red pen, last night.
just as you texted me you couldn' t see clearly and the night swept you away
in the letter i begged you not to leave me and
when i left today the window opened and the rain
drenched my words.
And you smudged with them.
I wish we could be more than we are
I wish that you'd be a better man and
I'd give you what you want
I wish I'd never want you again
Never dream about you
And your skin
And the way your eyelashes look in the sun
Or your hands
And your cold feet
You press against my back
I wish we'd be better off without each other
I wish I could turn around
And never look back
And I know I should
But if I do
I could never see you again
And I don't want to mourn you
Wake up in a cold sweat
At 35
Wondering where you are
And then maybe even seeing you again
With someone else
On your arm
I wish we could stay like this
Suspended in time
I wish I could close my eyes
And never feel anything for you ever again
Because every time I look at you
I want nothing more
Than to wake up
Next to you
