Matters To Me

Chapter 14

Billy stood next to his Ma as the church bells rang behind him as she wheeped. The minister slowly pouring holy water over the casket. He let go of his Ma hand to grab some dirt from what had been dug up and poured some into her hand. The two of them throwing in on the casket.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Kathleen," Mr. Upson said.

"My poor boy," she cried. "I guess it was his time to go," She said, looking over her shoulder to Mr. Upson. "God called to him."

"He was so very young."

She nodded. "Yes. He never had much of a life. And that's the truth."

"It's okay, Ma," Billy said. "He's with Pa now, in heaven."

"If I could do anything for you, Kathleen..." Mr. Upson said. "You know I would."

"Very kind of you. But you can't do anything, and I wouldn't want you to. My life is in God's hands, and I can't change that."

"Yeah," he answered, nodding to Billy as he walked away.

Billy wrapped his arm around her as they started to cover the casket.

"Come on," he whispered as she started to cry again.

Missie slowly wrapped her arm around his free one as the three walked off.

They slowly stopped when they saw Antrim making his way to them, taking off his hat.

"I came to pay my respects."

"What respects?" Ma asked. "You're too late, Henry. He's already in the ground."

"He's still my son."

"He is not your son!" She shouted. "You never did anything for him! You probably never even knew he was alive."

"Come now, Kathleen, I'm your husband."

Billy slowly stepped closer, ready at any moment to take him down. He slowly looked at Billy and quickly difused his temper.

"I want to make things right, Kathleen. I want us to be a family again. I want to prove to you that I've changed. I've prayed to the Lord, and He has heard me. I intend to be a good husband to you."

Billy slowly looked at his Ma, then back at Antrim. He was full of lies as he always had been. He looked back at his Ma wondering if she knew that. She slowly grabbed his arm and started walking away without saying anything to Antrim.

He glanced at Missie who slowly squeezed his arm. He knew she knew how much he wanted to strangle Antrim, however at his brother's burial was not the place. Billy nodded at her in silence.

The rest of the day dragged on, he felt like a piece of him was missing as he got ready for bed and Joe wasn't there in the other bed.

He was staring at the empty bed when Missie slowly entered.

"If you don't want my company it's alright. I will understand, grief is different for everyone," she said.

He slowly looked at her, her hair was braided and fell over her shoulder.

"I wish I could've given him a better life," Billy whispered.

Missie slowly approached him, sitting down beside him and taking his hand. "You were there for him. You loved him, you and Kathleen. He may not have had the fanciest things in life, but he had you two, loving him the whole time. He didn't take that for granted. It's the best thing you can give anyone."

Billy sighed as she gently wiped a tear from his cheek.

"I'm sorry that life isn't fair. If anyone deserves anything, it's you and your family."