Matters To Me

Chapter 63

Billy woke up in the night, Missie's spot empty beside him. He sat up, rubbing his face. He had avoided the men as they came back to camp that night and Missie had brought him dinner into the tent. The two of them had fallen asleep together, Missie being his only comfort.

He noticed she wasn't in the tent, making his anxiety rise. He quickly grabbed his boots, putting them on, not caring as he went out in only his under shirt. The cold night air hitting his face, alerting him. He quickly glanced at the horses counting, all of them were there and accounted for. He then quickly glanced at the bonfire before glancing back. She was the only one sitting in front of the bonfire as the embers still burned, the fire slowly decaying.

He walked up to her. "Missie?"

Missie glanced up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, or worry you," she said, noticing the worry on his face. "I couldn't sleep," She explained, wrapping her shawl tighter around her.

Billy slowly sat next to her, taking her cold hands in his. "What is it?" He asked, gently brushing her hair behind her ear.

She slowly started crying. "I'm sorry," she whispered, pulling away, wiping her cheeks.

He gently rested his hand on her thigh. "It's alright, Missie."

She took a deep shaky breath, looking at him. He softly brought his hand up, cupping her cheek. He could tell something was weighing heavily on her mind.

"Is it about the farmer?" He asked.

She shook her head, new tears burning her eyes as he continued to caress her cheek.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

Billy sat there stunned. Her words playing over in his head.

"You're pregnant?" He asked. "You're sure?"

Missie nodded, taking his hand and pressing it on her stomach, allowing him to feel a small flutter.

He looked up at Missie with a smile. "When?" Billy asked. "Were you?" He asked, referring to the night he had returned from saving Melquiades, a couple months prior.

Missie shrugged with a small laugh. "I think so, I didn't bleed before that. I haven't bled since you joined the gang."

Billy thought about it, he had been with the gang for four and a half months. He remembered their awful fight. He remembered how long it had been since they had been intimate before that night and how that was the first that they had been in months. He felt his own tears stinging his eyes, they had gone through the most awful time in their marriage, to the point they thought they couldn't fix it, only to fix it, grow stronger together, and conceive a baby.

"When did you know?" he asked.

"I just starting feeling it. It woke me up," she smiled, still crying.

Billy quickly hugged her. "I'm so happy," he mumbled in her hair.

Missie clung to him, relieved. Relieved to know now, relieved that Billy was happy about it, but another fear took place.

"I'm scared Billy," she said with a shaky breath. She was scared for so many reasons, the gang, the job, the possibility of losing it the same way they lost their son.

"I know," he whispered, running his hand up and down her back. "I know. Everything will be alright."

"I don't want the anyone to know," she admitted. "Not yet."

Billy nodded, he understood why. He led her back to their tent and the two of them crawled back into bed. Billy gently rested his hand on his stomach, feeling a small flutter again. She wasn't showing yet, but all of them had gone without much food before joining Mr. Murphy. They all were starting to put back on the weight they all had lost over the months of traveling.

Missie curled into his arms, resting her head on his chest as he gently kissed her forehead, intertwining their fingers as he held her hand.